End of Hong Kong, Beginning of China.

No, we're not dead everyone! Just had a hectic last few days and I didn't get a chance to update the blog. We're now in the hostel nestled safely in our bunk beds after the worst journey of our lives (my life), but more on that later. Gosh I can't even remember what's happened.

Erm ok, so after Kowloon we took the ferry across to Hong Kong Island. Not as touristy round here, you can walk down the street without being blinded by the neon lights which was a welcome change. We didn't really get to see anything here, it was just a big piss up really. We arrived on the Thursday and we'd seen a HK pub crawl advertised in a few places and it had really good reviews. We were apprehensive to try another pub crawl after the Berlin incident, we felt like we might have been tempting fate! (For those that didn't read the last blog, Lee got spiked and it was a mare!). The night was great. We had a really good time and we met loads of people. I'd say there was about thirty people on the pub crawl. Quite a few locals too. It's the cheapest way to have a night out. You pay £8 to the people then you get free shots and discounted drinks in each place. Think we spent £50 between us, so we spent alot less than at home despite it being more expensive.

Lee became somewhat of a legend through his choice of attire that night. After me shouting "double denim" at him a few times it seemed to catch on. No one knew his name, he was dubbed The Double Denim Guy.

The next evening after we'd managed to drag ourselves out of bed, we were headed to the metro to go and see some sights, but we ended up bumping into a group of aussie lads from the night before who persuaded us to go out with them again that night. When they spotted us in the street they pointed and shouted, "DOUBLE DENIM!!!".

The following evening though a bit worse for wear, we did manage to go and see Victorias Peak. It's a big hill were you can see over the whole of Hong Kong. The views were beautiful.

The next day was China time. We got the coach to Guangzhou which took about 3 hours.
We're used to just showing up at places blind with no plans, no accommodation, etc. But we quickly realised that China was not going to be as easy. Very few people speak English for starters. Why should they, I know. But everywhere we've been so far everyone has been pretty much fluent so I suppose we've taken it for granted. I thought we'd get by on actions and gestures but the people here (well, in Guangzhou anyway), didn't seem interested in even trying to help. A stern No and shake of the head was our most commonly received response. They don't like to queue here either, or try to get past you. They cut in and if you're in their way they will literally push you. Using public transport with a 10kg backpack on has been awkward to say the least. Different strokes for different folks and all that, but we'd arrived in China with the impression that we hated the place.We stayed in Guangzhou for i think 3 nights, mainly to try and make plans to decide what we're going to do in China and we saw some sights too. We took a boat ride on the Pearl River which was lovely as all the buildings and bridges were lit up. Whilst we were looking around we came across a park which at first glance looked like a kids swing park judging by all the bright multicoloured climbing frames and other apparatus. Upon closer inspection it was infact a type of gym with adults swinging off the bits of kit. It was very odd. Our hotel was slightly odd too, they seemed to have an obsession with plastic bears. We went to a food market there, we saw chickens and ducks being prepared to have their heads chopped off. When we saw them getting taken in and we spotted the massive machetes waiting on the chopping block we made a move. Chickens wouldn't really bother me, but I think seeing the ducks being decapitated might have made me cry. I prefer feeding them bread in the park to be honest! Although I am partial to the odd duck wrap. Mmm nommy.

On making our China plan we've learnt that the key to survival here will be to plan everything in advance and have addresses and key words/phrases written down in Cantonese. We decided to come to Shanghai first, that's were we've just arrived at now. The train took 17 hours. It was horrible. We were going to get beds but they cost £67 each as apposed to £20 for a seat, goes without saying really that we had to go with the seat. Never again!!!!! The seats were so uncomfortable, they were fixed bolt upright and they were in fours and sixes with a table in the middle so you had some div starting at you the whole time. There was no armrest so you couldn't even get comfy for a kip. Some people didn't have seats so they were sprawled out on the floor. Getting to the toilet was like having a game of hopscotch. The loo was a hole in the floor and when I went some dirty bastard had laid a big turd in there and made no effort to shift it. So there's me trying to get rid of someone else's shit incase the person that came in afterwards thought it was me. My efforts were futile so I had to settle on going back out and facing the queue, pointing at the pile of poo, shaking my index finger from left to right then pointing at myself. I hope they understood. After all that I actually forgot to wee.

Facebook is blocked here. We can access it through a proxy server but it gives you the mobile site, which would be fine, but it's not even the proper mobile site. Can't see any notifications or anything like that, so if you need us email us r.m.jones@live.co.uk ..right, nap time I think, then off for an explore of Shanghai.

Kowloon, Hong Kong

Love love love Hong Kong! It's so westernised yet so different. Not majorly I suppose, just little things - if people are ill they wear a mask so as not to spread germs. There are hand sanitizing facilities everywhere. Everywhere is spotless. We saw some one on their hands and knees today cleaning a drain cover down a side street. Really?? Who's even going to see it? There is wifi literally everywhere, and I do mean everywhere. On the buses, in the telephone boxes etc. In the cinema they have something called popcorn shakers were you choose what flavour you want on your popcorn and then you just bung it on. Effectively a big salt shaker. I put apple cinnamon on mine mmmmm yummy! I then ate the whole thing in the lobby. I usually manage to wait until the Orange ads at least. We went to see Avengers. Sorry people, I thought it was a sack of shit!

An update on Lee's "diet", he got burger and chips in Colombo airport before we left. How long did he last...4 hours??? I absolutely hated him in the airport. He was fast asleep on the cold floor for about 3 hours and I was just sitting there wide awake. Think I managed an hour but I was shattered. I was so jealous.

As soon as we arrived in Hong Kong we got the bus to Tsim sha tsui in Kowloon. We hadn't booked anywhere in advance, but we'd researched a couple places in this area. We went to Chung King Mansions which is a building with 3 blocks with market type stalls and shops at the bottom and many hostels and apartments in the 20 or so floors above. It is a proper dive, just how I expected it. Small, dark, smelly rooms, battered furnishings, cockroaches etc. Love it though. Our building is where all the immigrants live. Most of the hostels seem to be run by Africans. The owner of ours, Samson, was saying that they come over and marry Chinese women to get visas. He says, "It's good, can't talk much because she no speak English, but sex is good", quality Samson.

After finding a place to crash for a couple of hours, it was time to wake up and go and watch Champions League Final. It started at 2.45am here, 7 hours ahead. Found it straight away, loads of places were showing it. This city doesn't sleep so everywhere was packed. Can't believe Chelsea the jammy bastards! 6am we got to bed. We've become nocturnal out here now. Nowhere closes 'til midnight so it's good, you don't feel like you've wasted a day when you roll out of bed at 2pm.

I love the fashion out here. I love weird clothes but I'd feel uncomfortable wearing them in England because every one is so judgemental. If I think the fashion here is good I bet I'm going to love Japan. I'm expecting it to be bonkers.

We got our visas for China sorted today, we pick them up on Saturday then we're going to leave for China that day or Sunday, depending on whether we can be arsed. Tomorrow we're going to get the ferry across to Hong Kong island and have a couple of days there :)

So long Lanka

We spent another day in the Adam's Peak area (can't remember the name of the town) to recover, then set off for Colombo. We've never booked accommodation is advance, we've always just arrived and found somewhere easy. Sometimes there are touts waiting and you get a good price. Because Colombo is the capital I expected this but it didn't happen. So we spent hours walking around the city, which is massive, with our backpacks on, sssssweating! We're not used to these high temperatures after spending ages in the hill country.

We couldn't find anywhere cheap, it was all massive hotels. The cheapest price we could find was £28 per night, and when you're used to paying £4.50 it's a big increase. In the end we went to stay at the YMCA. except it wasn't fun to stay there, you couldn't get a good meal and you couldn't do what you feel - there was a 9pm curfew, FUN! Even that was £15, and surely you can't stoop any lower than a YMCA?

We're in the airport now. Our flight to Hong Kong is at 7.20am Sri Lankan time. Check in opens at 4.20am, so by the time we would have had to have left for the airport there'd have been no point in paying for a room, especially at those prices. We're just going to mooch around the airport and if we get tired have a kip on the chairs for a bit.

Check-out was at 12pm today, so we had to try and waste as much time in Colombo as possible. Wasn't really hard, it's such a big city. We decided to buy some more shit here whilst everything is cheap. Mainly toiletries; toothpaste, deodorant etc. Printed off our flight tickets. I would have completely forgotten, I'd have just showed up to the airport expecting to check in without a ticket. We went to an internet cafe and googled where McDonald's was, haha. Walked about 30 mins there and 30 mins back for it. HELLO BIG MAC!!! Lee says that he's off the fast food and take aways now. My ring piece is he! I give him a week max. I said I'd put it on here so you're all my witnesses.

After each country we're going to do a summary of the good and bad bits, so here goes!: (balls, looks like Martinez might be manager, ooer don't think am too happy with that. Ok anyway..)

Highlights:

1. For me a real highlight was when we got talking to a man who after saying we were from England he started to say how nice English people were. He said that after the tsunami people from Liverpool went and help build him a new house. I butted in to say I was from Liverpool and he kept on thanking me saying how lovely I am and how lovely my people are. He says they painted a Liver Bird on the side of his house and how much he loves it. Eventhough I did absolutely nothing, I was still so proud of the Liverpudlians and I was really proud to be from Liverpool for that moment. It really touched me, so that was nice.

2. When we went to the Matara ground and we met the coach and got the Nowotny badges. Whilst it was still one of my highlights, this one is Lee's more so, his obsession with football extends beyond mine. Plus he had some odd bond with the coach, it looked like they were in love. They swapped numbers and all sorts. Wit woo!

3. Releasing the buba turtles. This was so cool!!

4. Riding the elephant, obviously a highlight.

5. Climbing Adam's Peak!!!

Lowlights:

1. Being swollen generally (me). Had swollen ankles still two weeks into the trip. Burning my face and having a swollen alien head.

2. The aftermath of Adam's Peak (me again). Calves aren't half givin' me jib.

3. Being too hot!!

Likes:

1. The people (the ones that aren't utter bellends)

2. The lack of health and safety. Want to ride your 1 year old child on your motorbike handle bars? Swing off the side of a moving bus/train? Work on building sites in just your shorts and flip flops with no steal toe caps and hard hat? Come to Sri Lanka.

3. The food. It's a bit samey, but Rotti's are nommy, and so is the chicken curry the first 142648 times you eat it. After that gets a bit boring. Lee hearts devilled chicken (basically 'hot as fuck' chicken).

Dislikes:

1. The people (the ones that are utter bellends).

2. The sound of horns.

3. Tuk tuk drivers. You can't pass one without them asking you "you want tuk tuk?". You say no thank you and then they just change the order of their sentence, "tuk tuk, you want?". Next they start asking the same question but in a different tone. No, your offer for a tuk tuk doesn't sound any more appealing when you do it in a ladies voice. When we get fed up we ask them for a tuk tuk ride to ridiculous places. "How much to England?", "how much to [insert name of building we're standing outside of]?". The best bit is when you see their brain ticking over then they realise it's a joke. Most of the time they actually give you a price.

4. No personal space. Lee has a phobia of horrible skin, it makes him cringe when people touch him, and boy do people love touching you out here. Not in a touchy feely way, but like they have no problem sitting on your knee despite there being enough space for two bodies. They make no effort to move their arms if you're touching say on the bus for example, HATE that.

Ok so thats Sri Lanka! That month went fast. All in all had a boss time. Can't wait for our next adventure to begin. Bring on Hong Kong!

Adam's Peak

We finally managed to leave Ella the next day, just about. Had an absolute mare in doing so. We knew we wouldn't have enough money on us to pay for the hostel but we didn't worry about it too much as there was an ATM across the road. So we go to check out and Lee leaves me with the bags whilst he nipped to the cash point. I thought he was taking a long time. He comes back and says it's broke. The next ATM is in the next town which is an hours train ride away. We really didn't have time for this because we already spent a few extra days in Ella and we needed to get to our next destination as our visas run out in a few days.

I asked the man can we pay by card and he said his machine was broken. I was just brainstorming and I asked if there was anything else he could think of that we could do and he shouted at me going, "I need my money, what am I supposed to do!!". So that was it then, Lee started shouting and swearing, as did I, as did the man. There was two ways to resolve it. 1. Get the train to Hatton to get money, then come all the way back again and then start our journey to Adam's Peak. 2. Knock him out and leave without paying.
As much pleasure as I would have taken from the latter, we chose the sensible option (which was go to Hatton for those that know me well).

The little gobshyte (not Lee, hostel owner) wouldn't let us leave without us leaving our backpacks there, yet he couldn't provide us with a locked room in which to keep them. We told him to fuck off and I gave him my expired passport, the dozy turd didn't even realise. So we left our packs with our pals at the bar Nescoffee and off we set to Hatton.

I was more than willing to leave without paying that man, he was horrible and there was absolutely no need, but we weren't sure whether I could be traced through me old passport and I didn't want to risk having a run in with the bizzies over here. Having said that they seem like lovely chaps and they have a very smart uniform. It did make me feel so much better that I stole his plug adaptor. I did this because the hostel had a 10pm curfew which I didn't agree with haha. As if knocking them up at silly bells to let us in each night wasn't enough.

Anyway, we got the train to Hatton. Five hours later we arrived back in Ella (bloody trains!!). We set off for Adam's Peak at 3pm. I was so angry. It's a good 8 hours away and I didn't want to be travelling the day of the climb. We did as much as we could that night and stopped over in Nuwara Eliya again for the night ready to continue our journey the next day.

Another shitty day. We were on the packed bus, getting a seat where we could, ending up one or two rows away from eachother. This man who was standing up near to me asks me where I'm from blah blah all the usual shit. I wasn't in the best of moods and frankly I could have done without it, but I answered back politely. A few minutes later he asked me the same series of questions. Again I answered. By the fourth time he asked me where I was from I had started to get wound up. I said, "look I've told you three times, leave me alone now". He continued to badger me, saying things I couldn't understand. Lee kept asking me if I was okay, but he knows that if the man did or said anything to offend me I'd get up and lamp him myself, so he left it. The man started to tell me I was beautiful and he was getting really creepy and I felt very uncomfortable. I hate these situations when it involves foreign men, because to me they're all creepy because their mannerisms are so different so I never know when to slap 'em or say thank you. He bend down really close to my face. Before I could really register him there Lee had gripped him up and slammed him down onto the bus floor haha. The bus conductor could see what was going on and he told the man sitting next to me to swap sides so the weird man couldn't get to me again. He left me alone for a bit, but would you believe that as soon as Lee was distracted with paying the bus conductor, he came up behind me and whispered, "hello, where are you from?", haha. Unbelievable.

Fiiiiinally we got to Delhousie which is a teeny ghost town at the base of Adam's Peak. Adam's Peak is a mountain approx. 7359ft above sea level. I must have been high when I said I wanted to climb it.

We left at 1am that night. It took us just over 3 gruelling hours to reach the top. It starts off kind of easy, gradually getting harder, and harder, then ridonkulously harder to the point I found myself shouting aloud, "help me, I'm going to die!!", yes folks, it was that bad.
You literally don't come across a single soul. All the trees are rattling and things are blowing past you like tumbleweeds in the wind. You hear dogs howling, twigs snapping. Oooh it was so scary. I was in control of the torch and Lee kept having a go at me because every 5 seconds I'd hear something and whip the torch around to see what it was, leaving us both to trip over in the pitch black. As soon as we got going properly though, all that went out the window, I didn't give a shit what was lurking I was just consumed with agony trying to get up the bloody mountain.

It was rocks and steps most of the way with the odd flat bit stretching for about 4 yards if you're lucky. God them flat bits were the best thing since sliced bread. It felt like heaven. Although my legs carried on the marching motion you adhere to when climbing stairs so my body didn't reap the benefit to the best of it's ability.

For the last maybe 45 minutes to an hour it's just a continuous flight of incredibly steep stairs, like the ones in my Grandma and Grandad's terrace that I used to panic over as a sprog. All I can say is that I am so glad we did the ascent by torchlight. If I had have been able to see how big and far the mountain was I'd have never have done it, and if I'd have had the ability to look down I'd have got stuck and not have been able to move. Ignorance is bliss as they say.

The worst part of the climb for me was when I turned a corner and could see a little bit of the temple at the top. Because I knew I'd made it I guess the adrenalin that I was running on diminished and my whole body went like jelly. I almost cried I was so relieved. I just about managed to get to the top, then when I did I was oddly fine. Started doing a cool down and a few stretches and all sorts haha. There was a building that resembled a bunker from a Bond film that you could sit in to be sheltered from the wind. It was super windy and super cold. Not surprising when you're sitting above the clouds at 4am. We sat there until sunrise which was 5.20am. It was so beautiful. When the sun was fully up we went round to the other side and it casts a shadow of the temple onto the clouds. Amazing.

The descent took us about 2 hours. I thought that would be the worst part but it was actually okay. That was until my groin seized up and i twisted my knee. I was okay doing the downward stepping motion, but when we came to a flat section, and when we got back into town where it was flat, I genuinely couldn't walk. I was walking like I'd been arsed raped, then shit myself, and then some. Argh the pain!!! A doggy followed us down the whole way, bless him. He'd walk with us, then every so often he'd go a little bit ahead and wait for us. So cute.

Lee was pretty much fine, especially taking into account that he carried my bag of provisions a fair bit of the way. At one point he had his own bag on his back, my bag on his front and he was carrying the torch. Didn't hear a peep out of him. At the same time there's me crawling up the steps announcing that I was infact dying.

It was so worth doing, but I tell you what - never again.

Arrack is the Devil

Ok so we woke up the next day and decided we couldn't be arsed going to Ella Rock, it's just going to be a shit version of Adams Peak which we're doing in a few days. So we swerved that and went to the tea factory instead!

The tea factory was actually very good, for a bit. I started to get a bit bored towards the end, maybe because I'm not a member of the Tea Drinkers Massive I didn't really get the fascination,'cause Lee was well into it. Either that or he's just a geek. He was asking loads of questions, even asking the same question three times on some occasions. Yeah he's a geek. I think our guide could tell I was starting to lose the will to live. For the rest of the tour he went round with his back to me and spoke only to Lee. He seemed well into his job though and passionate about tea, I guess I must have offended him when I started to look at the ceiling.

We had to wear hair nets and flasher macks to go round the factory in. None of the workers wore these. I think they must do it to give the workers something to laugh at now and again. Lee looked like a right tosser, the worst bit is I suited it.

We were supposed to leave the next day but we couldn't wake up, so we went to see another waterfall, Rawana Falls. So glad we stayed because it was really beautiful. There was more space to have a swim in this one, whereas Ramboda Falls was quite rocky. You couldn't climb up this one, was secretly glad about that!

That night we met up with our English pal Solly from Devon. We were only meant to have a quiet one 'cause he had to be up at 6am the next day to get to Galle, and our check out was 10am (early for us). Thing is though, you can't have a quiet couple here. Because of the altitude you get shit faced really quickly. It also didn't help that a crazy Australian man came and sat with us, who happened to be absolutely smashed and hilariously funny. He made you want to drink. So we sat in our usual haunt for a bit then we went to the locals bar and had a bit of a lock in. We were drinking their local spirit, Arrack (ergh I'm feeling queasy again typing about it). It tastes like whiskey, not too bad with a drop of coke.
I literally had 5 drinks last night, and I was absolutely wasted. I was sick this morning. Vomiting off five drinks haha, I'm such a cheap date in the mountains! Can't believe I was sick, I've felt (and looked) like road kill all day today. This is officially my first proper hangover. I usually get away scot free, I knew my luck would run out sooner or later.
For those poor unsuspecting folk that were there: it was worse than that time you had to witness me starkers and smearing Philadelphia cheese in my hair. Although my actions weren't as bad this time, I only tried to steal a tuk tuk.

So we were meant to leave again today, but in light of my tender condition we stayed. We've had a lovely Sunday doing absolutely nada. Hopefully we'll leave tomorrow and get down to Adams Peak!

Nuwara Eliya

After Kandy we went down to Nuware Eliya. We went there to see Ramboda Falls, which is a waterfall if the name didn't give it away.

I didn't really think too much about what we were doing. When I put my flip flops on that morning I clearly didn't factor in the possibility of maybe having to do a bit of climbing to see these waterfalls. Judging by Lee's footwear he obviously made the same school boy error.

We'd driven past it on the bus on the way into Nuwara Eliya and we didn't realise that was just a small section of it. When we got there we noticed a small opening to the side of the waterfall which looked like a pathway. There were a few rocks that had been fashioned into steps and we soon gathered that you could climb to the top. The weather was nice, the pathway didn't look too baron, so off we went.

After about 15 minutes in, the place was like a jungle. The path was covered in vines and plants and other green shit, at times the path disappeared and we had to climb across rocks hoping it was the right way. I was fully expecting to come face to face with a jaguar or something equally as mean. I kept my thoughts to myself so as not to scare Lee, and right at that moment he goes,
"There's definitely going to be animals in here, look at it! We should go back. There's going to be snakes".
I agreed but I didn't want to tell him that because I didn't want to turn back, so I told him to stop being a pussy and we carried on. Over an hour later of full on climbing we finally reached the top. To say we were sweating would be the understatement of the century.
It was worth it though the view was beautiful.

By this point I had to lose the flip flops, they kept skidding off my feet in crazy directions and Lee kept shouting at me for spazzing about like it was intentional. To my absolute delight the same thing happened to him on the way back down. His flip flops proper twined him. The way he ended up was hilarious, I nearly pee'd. He wouldn't let me take a picture the tit. By the time I'd composed myself enough to get the camera out he'd already straightened himself out. It's a shame 'cause it was one of them photo's I could have just sat and laughed at for ages. Cracking up now just typing about it.

Before the descent, we climbed down (or skidded down bare foot if you're me. I'm so going to get hook worm) to a pool at the bottom of the top part of the waterfall for a jump in and a swim. To get there you had to climb over a load of massive rocks. Had to do all the obligatory moves pretending to be Lara Croft haha (You'd have done it too!). The water was so nice and clear, freezing cold like. Hello fanny ache and ball ache!

On our way back to the side of the waterfall to get down again, I was doin' me Lara Croft moves trying to get over a rock and I slipped and mangled my leg. I was stuck. I couldn't help myself for laughing which made me more stuck. Lee didn't help, he videoed me. On the video my leg looks like it's broken. Don't know how it's not to be honest, it looks like it shouldn't be in that position. It was funny though, I didn't hurt myself so all is good.

The climb down was harder than that of coming up. Also by this point the heavens had opened. I tried the flip flops again, but if I thought they were slippy before then I had another thing coming. Off they came again. It was so steep coming down. I went first and Lee kept shouting at me for going slow and he kept going ahead demonstrating how to do it. (This was about the time his flip flops went on a mad one. Brillaint). You'd have thought he'd have been more concerned about me falling off the edge, but no, he was in a rush to get down to the bottom to get out the rain, despite already being wet from the swim, despite having reached the bottom we were only to stand and wait in the rain for a bus anyway.

Nuwara Eliya is nick named 'Little England', because English colonialists came here. I on the other hand think it's more to do with the amount of piss heads on the street downing their bottles of Arrack, the many alcohol shops, and the pubs seem ten a penny too. Oh and the climate. It lashed down, and it got really cold here too, about 17 degrees? Sounds nice, but we've had 36 plus the last week or so, so this feels cold now.

We arrived in Ella today. Going to climb Ella Rock tomorrow, it's about 9km in total. I can categorically say that I shall not be branding my flip flops tomorrow, Vans all the way, baby!

Kandy bar

The journey to Kandy was an absolute mare. We got on our first bus at Arugam Bay at 1pm, we arrived in Kandy at 10:30pm. The first two buses were okay, we had a seat atleast. The third and last bus we got on was awful. We didn't have a seat and it was so crammed with bodies you didn't even have to hold on, you couldn't move. Luckily we were driving through mountains and it was night time so despite being packed in like sardines it was surprisingly cool.
The bus was packed with men, yet I only got offered a seat after 2 hours of standing when I must have turned green were I felt so ill. Fair play to the man though, better late than never. When we got on he also took our bags off us and put them on his lap so we could hold on properly. We got there safe and sound in the end though.

The whole reason we came to Kandy was because after extensive research it looked like our best option to get the FA Cup final. We really couldn't wait to watch the footy with a good few well deserved alcoholic beverages and have some western food in the English owned pub. We were fantasising about it for days. When we arrived here we were told there's a Buddist festival going on, started on the 4th and ended on the 6th. Great we thought, good timing. That was until we went looking for somewhere to watch the match.

Five and a half hours we spent power walking/jogging through the city looking for somewhere. Because of this fricking festival everywhere was closing at 8 or 9, if opening at all, and the game only started at 9:45 for us over here. We tried hotels too but none had the right channel.

After all the tears and disappointment we decided our only hope was to go back to the gaff and try and stream it on one of our tablets. We were absolutely gutted. To try and perk ourselves up we said we'd go supermarket and get a load of booze for the game. No no no,because of the God forsaken festival AGAIN, the sale or consumption of alcohol and meat has been banned. It was such a low point. In the end we watched the match on Lee's tablet propped up against the iron on the ironing board, more sober than a motherlover. To top it all off we lost. All that effort for what. Gutted.

Earlier on that day we nearly had a fight with a tuk tuk driver. After I bartered with him he said he'd do a fare for 200 rupees. I repeated this twice to clarify. When we got to our destination Lee gave him a 500 note and he short changed us by 50 rupees. I did wonder what he was doing when I saw him pull out two 100 notes and hesitate when he went to grab a third, then instead got a 50 note. We said hang on you said 200. He denied it and the three of us were arguing back and forth for a bit. He then went to drive off the cheeky prick, so I jumped in the back of the tuk tuk. His face illustrated that he didn't think of this scenario. He didn't know what to do but he certainly didn't want to pay up. It wasn't until Lee got aggressive to the point I thought he was going to smack him that he paid up, whimpering "I no like you people", presumably he meant English. How many muggy tourists have let him get away with that I wonder, probably very many.

Today we went to see the elephants! Yay! Our elephant was called Pooja, we got to bathe her and she gave us a shower with her trunk. Afterwards we rode her bare back (sorry sounds rude). It was absolutely amazing. My trip was tainted by the people working there though. Our mahout looked incredibly pissed off for whatever reason and I didn't like the way he was treating the elephant. I Know they're wild beasts capable of a lot of damage and they have to be kept inline, but the way he was poking her with his stick with such aggression just made me want to go home. The staff were trying to usher us in and out as quickly as possible and it felt as though they didn't care for the welfare of the animals, they just wanted money. They kept asking us for tips eventhough they'd done fuck all. If they were that concerned about the elephants then badger us for donations, not money for yourself. There were alot of volunteers from Europe, so I guess if the elephants were being mistreated they wouldn't be there? It was definitely worth doing though, just a shame the humans ruined it.

Did you know they make paper out of elephant poo? Nugget of useless information there for ya.

We each had a crack at driving a tuk tuk today as well, was quality. Roads are mad here though, the big vehicles get right of way so I thought I was going to get ran off the road a few times like but 'twas good :)

Guess what, it's the 7th which means the festival is over, which means.... ALCOHOL O'CLOCK!!

You're made to feel like a criminal here for getting alcohol. Where we went today you have to come out of the supermarket, go into a back street ally past all the bins and shit and then you start to see all these sheepish lookin' geezers carrying their liquor. You go a bit further then there's a concrete hut situation behind jail bars with a couple of lads serving. It was like doing a bit of a walk of shame. Felt like we were doing something really naughty.

Not long got back armed with a litre of Smirnoff with Redbull and juice! Nom nom nom. Oh and a big bar of chocolate! Nom nom nom... HAPPY FACE!!!

Bye Arugam Bay

Our last night in Arugam Bay tonight. We'll be kinda sad to leave here. We've been here for 6 nights (I think) so we've got a little routine going on. Just to make you jealous: Rouse at about 10am, have a shower, get in our swimming gear and piss arse about for a bit (Lee). Take a leisurely stroll down to the beach for about 11:30am. Catch some rays, have a dip etc. Ah bliss. By this time you will be in work muahahaha.

A couple days ago we were having lunch in this place and as we were finishing the lads that worked there pulled out this big board game a few tables away. He saw us looking so he invited us for a game. The language barrier was difficult but we managed to understand the rules. It was called Carrom. It's quality. Bit like pool but you flick the disc things (Google it). We sat there for hours playing. I was uber shit. The poor lad who was on my team kept cringing when I was about to take my shots. They both had a good laugh at me. We walked past that night, a good five hours later, and there they were in the same spot still playing. They called us over and we had another few games with them. They were sound.

You can't seem to get spirits in the bars here. The ones we've been in only do beer and soft drinks. A couple did G&T and some cocktails but we like our voddy!
We asked a local and he said you can buy it at the Holiday Inn. Not sure whether that's the name of the shop. Surely they can't have an actual Holiday Inn as we know it here? I don't know. We were told to get a tuk tuk but we decided to walk. Now we've heard about a trip you can do here around the swamp to see the wildlife. Birds, snakes, elephants and many crocodiles. We were also told you don't have to do the trip, you can just walk there but you'd be, "fucking stupid", to do that.

So anyway, we're walking along this long, near pitch black road looking for Holiday Inn. I started to feel a bit uneasy. The sounds I was hearing were different. Not your usual grasshoppers and other night time critters, this sounded different but I couldn't place it. It made me look around and try and see where we were. I looked to my left and squinted my eyes and I realised. We were at the fucking swamp! I turned on my heels so fast and said in the sternest voice I've ever heard, "we're going back", "..what, what's up??", "just shut up we're going back", haha. The phrase 'shitting myself' has a whole new meaning to me now, I was so scared I actually needed a poo. I've seen enough Steve Irwin to know that I don't stand a chance against a crocodile. We got away unscathed thank God but I was absolutely petrified. If I needed the vodka before that ordeal then I certainly needed it afterwards (never did get any).

Keep having power cuts here. We've had 4 in the 6 days we've been here. Goes out for ages at a time too. In the day it's not too bad but at night isn't the best. We were tripping over dogs the other night. Went off in the restaurant few days back. Had to wait ages for our scran.

On the bus the other day and I was complaining to Lee about how my arse doesn't fit in the seat. He said the seats are made smaller here because the people aren't as big. I gathered this, that's fine, he could have left it there but no. He went on to say:
"They're not thick set"
"What do you mean? Are you saying I'm "thick set"?"
"Well, yeah. Look at the size of your shoulders for a girl"
Haha, cheers Lee, I've now got a brand new insecurity I never knew I had.

Dave and Russian sex

After our first encounter with Dave we we're fine, we didn't mind his presence. Lee wasn't a fan of him doing a poo plop in his wash bag but it was all good. We went out and came back to the room that evening to get dressed and I said to Lee that although we're all pals, I didn't really want Dave sharing the bed. He agreed, so we came up with the plan of stuffing some cushions at the bottom of the door, presuming that's where he was getting in, also assuming that he had already departed and we weren't trapping him inside the room.

So anyway, Lee goes over to the foot of the bed and picks up one of the throw cushions and screams like a girl. I scream because I don't know what he's screaming at. He manages to get out that the mouse is there.. in the bed. That was a step too far for me. We had to get him out.

We went out and told the owner who seemed genuinely horrified. After her apologies she says, 'hang on, I'll get Tiger', I was expecting a beast. She hands us a little basket and inside is the smallest, cutest little kitten you've ever seen. The mouse was practically the same size as it. I didn't think it would be much help but I put him in the room anyway just because he was cute and I wanted a cuddle.

After rustling some furniture around I spotted the mouse shoot behind a plastic bag on the floor. I chucked the cat in his direction but he came straight back and started licking my ankles and pawing the bottom of my dress. Lee was also as much use as a chocolate fire guard. It was me against Dave.

I slowly moved the plastic bag and he shot off. Soon enough Lee spotted him snuggled amongst his clothes on the shelf. Kel surprise it was me that had to move the clothes to get at the mouse. At this point the owner had come in to offer her assistance. As did her boyfriend and a local man. So it was me, Lee, Tiger, owner, boyfriend and local all running round the room chasing the damn mouse.

As we were chasing him, Dave ran straight past the open door (argh!) and went into the bathroom and disappeared. The local who seemed to know what he was on about said he went down a pipe. He looked proper so we took his word for it and blocked up the pipe with paper and tape, convinced we had it sorted, (shame I can hear the owner having sex) we left it and went out. Upon our return I go to the bathroom to check the paper is still in place and guess who is sitting on the toilet seat bold as brass? The Davemeister.

I told the owner he was back and she said she had a mouse trap, why didn't she say this before?! (I can hear spanking haha, I'm going back to me room) We set it up in the bathroom and after a couple hours I could hear him rattling around inside. By this time it was gone midnight. I couldn't leave him in the cage, so I took him outside and set him free and I gave him some cheese and bread because I'm just nice like that. Farewell Dave me old mucker.