Yangshou

Sweating my vagina off as I type this on yet another train to Chengdu. This train also doesn't have air con but atleast the fan works. This journey is 24.5 hours. After all these trains the 4 hour coach to Liverpool will be a piece of piss.

We enjoyed Yangshou, apart from the lack of sleep. We were in an 8 bed dorm. Me and Lee shared a bunk, I was on the top one and him on the bottom. There was a Chinese lad staying on the top bunk across from me. He was only there for 2 nights but by the end of it I could have strung him up by his stupid pony tail. He came to bed around 5am each night, obviously staying up to watch the Euro's. But what he'd done is set an alarm for 2.45am on one of his phones to wake him up for the games, not that he ever went to bed beforehand anyway, he was always downstairs from 10pm onwards. He then left this phone in his locker. So 2.45am comes and we get woken up to the sound of some shit Chinese RnB song which lasted about 30 seconds. At first we just thought it was a call so we tried to go back to sleep, but it kept going off every minute for about 15 minutes. We were on the 5th floor so going down to get him wasn't an option. After a while Lee had enough and went over to the lads locker and ragged it open and gave me the phone. I couldn't get the battery off so I had to just switch it off. I saw another alarm was set for 7.20am but because everything was in Chinese I didn't know how to switch that alarm off. Needless to say we were woken up again at 7.20am. This was after him coming in at 5am waking us all up again. I leaned over and shook his bed to wake him up and he went down to turn off the alarm and went back to bed.

I was visibly angry so you'd have thought he'd turn his alarms off, but the next day the exact same thing happened. I was so angry. I shook his bed so hard and shouted at him. He shit himself he didn't know what was goin' on getting woken up by some crazy white girl swinging off his bed going nuts.

We hired a couple of mountain bikes and went for a cycle round the river. It was really nice. Haven't been on a bike in years, I was kinda scared when we set off thinking in my head that it was an absolute given that I'd return with bloody knees and no teeth. The last time I was on a bike I put my head straight through a parked car so as you can guess I'm not the most competent of cyclists. After a while I found my feet and got my confidence back and I was grand.

On our ride we saw loads of water buffalos and hens with their chicks, and we took a bamboo raft across the river with our bikes. At one point we stopped and had a dip in the river. It was so nice, but when we got out we were covered in what looked like tiny leeches and some other bugs. We stood there for about 10 minutes whacking these bugs off, they were everywhere!
The ride took about 5 hours so we treated ourselves to a fat burger and chips afterwards mmmmm...

We met a few lads there who we went on a night out with. There was an Englishman, a Dutchman and an American. Sounds like the beginning to a bad joke. They had all taught there at some point. We went to a hostel bar called Monkey Jane's as that was the only place open showing the football. It was a place especially for foreigners, so when Jane started saying she hates foreigners infront of the whole place it really pissed me off. So I shouted at her, "how are you gona say you hate foreigners when every single person in here is foreign?!! We pay your fucking wages you silly lady! Absolute idiot!". She had pissed us off before that too. Lee ordered noodles and they cost 4 and Lee gave her a 5 note then quickly realised he had the right change and swapped it and she said, "fucking rich people wasting my fucking time". WHAAAAT I didn't hear this at the time but when Lee told me I was fuming. Why would you make your business for foreigners if you clearly hate them? She was a tosser though. When people stopped paying attention to her to watch the football she went over and turned it off. She seemed like a bitter middle aged woman having a midlife crisis. You know the type.

What annoyed me the most though was that the people we were with were making excuses for her, saying "don't take offense, it's just the way they are". No. No it isn't. That was just rude to a different extent. It annoys me how everyone keeps making excuses for these people. What would it take before they say enough is enough? Argh!!!

So I'm finishing this entry in Chengdu now. Our hostel is boss but it's a bit creepy and they're playing creepy music which doesn't help. We met a Chinese girl on the train who, shock horror, was really very nice! To make sure we got to where we were going she took us to our hostel (which was two buses from the train station) and even up to our room bless her. We like Chengdu already. Can't wait to see the Panda's, woohoo!!!!

'Road to Yangshou'

Fenghuang was really quite nice. It was really old; buildings on stilts on the river side, all the guesthouses are all wooden. There were loads of old tiny, cobbled lanes like in Brighton and that was really nice for a mooch. Got lost sooo many times though. Some things there looked so traditional. More often than not we'd see a man on a tiny wooden raft fishing wearing one of those hats that looks like the lid off ya duck pancakes pot. The people were much more friendly there. It had a bit of everything really. It was lovely to walk around in the day and it seemed to have a good nightlife too.

We stayed in Fenghuang for four nights, our next scheduled stop was Yangshou, but it would seem that it is virtually impossible to get to. You have to get a 1 hour bus to Tongren, 12 hour train to Guilin, then another 2 hour bus to Yangshou. We thought fuck that for a game of soldiers, so we stopped over at each segment of the journey.

Tongren was a bit of a shit heap to be fair, but we had to get a room as our train left from there at 4.46am. We were just going to sleep rough in the station but it stunk off piss and vinegar, so we got a hotel across the road from the station. We paid over the odds (£14.80) but we had to be close by as we're not sure what the taxi situation is like after hours. Anyway, the hotel was LUSH. So lush infact that it had a plaque in the room with a picture of a girl with her tits practically out and a number underneath to dial. Oh and a pack of prophylactics with Sarah Michelle Gellar's face on some one elses body. Poor girl, bet she hasn't got a clue.

The train to Guilin wasn't as good as our other sleeper train. First of all there wasn't a ladder to get up to the top bunk were we were. There was a teeny fold away step on the inside part of the lower and middle bunks, so you couldn't even use them really without poking someone in the eye with your big toe. You had to do some Spider Man shit to get up and down, which left you sweating. That brings me to my next point: there was no air conditioning. And to add insult to injury there was a fan in each of the cabins, but ours didn't work. I was hotter than the sun. Oh and the beds hadn't been changed from each person to the next. When we got on I thought a section of my pillow felt wet. I sniffed it and it smelt like sweaty, greasy barnet, ew!

We've been stopped for photo's countless times now. Really don't get it. I know they're very blocked off from the rest of the world and on TV and on billboards it's only Chinese people, but they see honkies in films and stuff so why the fascination? One lad the other day, must have been about 18, 19, after he took the photo he walked away and actually shouted out "YES!!!", (well the Chinese equivalent), and punched the air. Really though???! We don't mind at all but we just can't fathom it.

We're in Guilin at the mo, leaving tomorrow for the bus to Yangshou. Oh that rhymes. It's okay here but not much to do really. It's got hotter as we doth venture south. Yesterday we just walked into a big hotel, asked at reception where the pool was and spent the day there. We tried the same again today but we got caught. They wanted to charge us 8 squid each just to use the pool!! Erm jog!.. So we walked about a half hour to the next hotel instead and they only charged us £3 and we got towels too. Good times.

Arr I am going to miss the kitten at this hostel, he's sooo cute. He's the smallest kitten I've ever seen. I've named him Barry. Don't know what his proper name is but I think he'd prefer Barry given the choice. Shit, think I've burnt me face again. Will I ever learn?

王八

We're in Fenghuang now, in Hunan Province. We arrived last night from Zhangjiajie. The mammoth 20 hour train journey to Zhangjiajie from Shanghai actually wasn't so bad after all. We've learnt that for any long train journey a sleeper is an absolute must. It didn't feel like 20 hours at all and the beds were quite comfortable so we got a half decent sleep. There are about ten or so doorless cabins to a carriage with six beds inside each, with two bottom bunks, two middle and two top. We had the two middles and we're so glad we did. Every Tom, Dick and Harry comes and sits on the bottom bunks during the day because they have enough head room to sit up properly, whereas the other bunks don't. The Chinese people don't seem to mind this, but if I were on the bottom and people came and sat down on my bed I'd be drop kickin' them off quicker than they could say chicken fried rice.

In the train station before we left, Lee went to the shop to get some drinks for us and a Chinese girl came and sat next to me waving her phone in my face. I guessed she wanted a picture. So she took about three snaps of me smiling very awkwardly, then when Lee comes back she thrusts the phone at him and he had to take a few pictures of me and her together. We always notice people taking sly photos of us, but that was the first time some one's came up to us. I didn't mind but it's still a bit bizarre!

Since we've been in China we haven't seen any big supermarkets, so when we stumbled across one the other day we got all excited and went for a wonder. It's incredible what entertains you when you're away. We think it's the dogs bollocks wondering around supermarkets comparing prices and seeing what weird shit they have. They had turtles for sale at the fish counter in this place, they were tied up in little net bags and they were alive too. I devised a plan to set them free so they could at least have a shot but Lee wouldn't let me. It made me sad, I like turtles.

We had a butchers at the noodles as that's pretty much our staple diet out here, that and street food. We were well impressed when we spotted free tubs attached to the multi packs of noodles. We were contemplating buying a tub each so even when there's no kitchen at a hostel we could still have something to eat our noodles out of. When we saw we could have free ones...Oh my. AND they were microwaveable AND they have a seal so nothing spills!! We were buzzin' off our tubs until we went to bed on the train the next day. Told you it's incredible what entertains us.

Whilst in Zhangjiajie we went to their National Park. It is apparently the place where James Cameron got the inspiration for Avatar. His crew allegedly came here and took 4,000 shots of the mountains and then based the floating mountains in Pandora on them. I don't know whether this is true or whether the Chinese authorities have renamed one of the mountains 'Hallelujah Mountain', as a money making gimmick. Either way there is no denying the similarities. The views were absolutely spectacular. We were both in awe. I've bunged a couple of photos on Facebook but they don't do it any justice what so ever. If you're ever in China I would definitely say it was worth a visit, but make sure you take the Avatar DVD and a device to play it on because you don't half crave a watch of it when you get back from the park!

The next day we went back to the park and followed a different trail which takes you along the stream. It was pretty at first but it takes about 4 hours so it got a bit samey after a while. There were quite a few wild monkeys on this trail. We would stand back and take a picture and go 'ahhh' and move on. The Chinese people badger them, poking them with things, getting right in their faces to try and get the best possible pictures. Once one person goes close, another person gets closer, then another, etc. This dynamic goes on until the monkeys feel threatened and start to squawk and brace their bodies as if they're going to attack. One monkey was so close to attacking this man but a cleaner came past with a broom and waved it at the monkey and he backed off, obviously scared of the broom. Of course, we thought it would be brilliant if we saw some one get attacked because they would absolutely deserve it. Plus, ourselves and the locals haven't exactly been the best of pals up to now. So on our way out there were tonnes of monkeys chillin' out at the entrance/exit so we decided to just sit and watch for a while as we felt like it was a matter of time. Along comes this lady with a lovely big see-through bag of crisps, biscuits, sandwiches and...bananas!! This big monkey with her baby wrapped round her belly jumps up on the woman and snatches the whole bag of goodies out of her hands. She screams and legs it leaving the bag, and all these monkeys materialize out of nowhere, easily about 30 of them, and try and grab what they can. It was hilarious, every one was screaming and running and we were just sitting on the sidelines laughing our heads off watching the drama unfold. One little monkey took a pack of biscuits and shot back up the tree. We watched him carefully open the packet, eat a few, then opened the packet fully and sprinkled down the rest of the biscuits for his pals below.

We got speaking to an English lad in our hostel who's been studying out here in an English university for the past 6 months. He was with two Chinese friends. We couldn't believe some of the stuff he was telling us. In the university they keep foreigners and locals in separate parts of the building, and the foreigners have swipe cards so they can come in and out when they pleased, but the locals get literally padlocked in their rooms at 11pm. We thought it was absolutely crazy and their response was "why do we need to leave the room after 11pm? We have a toilet, the shops are shut...". This seemed quite logical and we couldn't actually answer the question, but wowzer. Can you imagine the consequences if they tried to do that in England??!

We have also found out that people that work at international hostels have to have checks every year which basically asks them about their values. Pretty much making sure they're not becoming westernised.

We're also always kept separate from the locals. In our hostel in Shanghai there was a Russian lad who's been living there for 2 months as he's working in Shanghai and waiting to sort out proper accommodation. Anyway, he had some Chinese friends that were coming to stay in the hostel. His room had 5 empty beds, he was in there by himself, so he told them to ask for his room number so they could stay together. They asked and they were told that that room was fully booked.

Last night we were watching the England France game and the TV room backs on to a dorm. A Chinese girl pops her head out and very rudely tells us to turn it down. I explained it was on volume 1 and it couldn't go any lower, but that wasn't good enough so she stomps out her room and comes back with the man who works at the hostel. PATHETIC. anyway, the point is we had to sleep in separate dorms that night as they were fully booked, but both rooms only had men in. The woman on reception knew this wasn't right as she asked me if I'd be okay being on my own in a room full of men. When I put my head in that girls room there were at least 3 free beds in there. So they're prepared to potentially risk my safety than to let me mix with the locals. Great thanks for that. I just squished into Lees bed in his dorm as neither of us were happy with me being alone, but still. Not the point.

We've never felt hostility like it, we're made to feel so unwelcome sometimes. Having said that, the other night we went out for an explore and an aussie girl came with us. We went into a bar and we were just standing on the sidelines taking in the differences. For example the man going round making people balloon bracelets, the dice games on each of the tables, the men dancing on the podiums and tables instead of the women. Then a man and a waitress come over to us and grabbed me and took me to their table. The other two followed me over and the men just bought us beers all night. I don't like beer so I stayed sober but Lee filled his boots. It was a great night. I got up on the stage dancing then Lee and Ellie got up, then the whole bar was up, doing the conga and all sorts, it was so fun! Haven't been out sober for a long time and it was the best night I've had in ages.

At first we found China really difficult but we're getting used to it now and we've found ways around most things. Picking up the language is impossible. We've learnt four words. Couldn't do the characters like but we know how to say them. Hello (nee-how), thank you (xie-xie), turtle (wang ba) which is an insult, pretty much means son of a bitch. And the most important, Vodka (foto ja). Sorted. We can go in a shop, say hello, buy vokda, thank them, then get pissed and abuse some one. That's our Saturday nights sorted.

Shanghai

We've been in Shanghai for 3 nights now, tonight is our fourth (well, not sure when it is 'cause I have to email this to me Mum to paste as kel surprise Blogspot is blocked in China too). We have enjoyed Shanghai. Not really much to do here apart from wonder about, but there's alot of lovely places to wonder about in.

We're staying on East Nanjing Road which is very central. It's in Peoples Square which is a massive high street at this end, then further down the road is a huge park called Peoples Park which is very nice. We passed through there the other day and there was a group of kids with their speakers out, Shufflin'. We were waiting for them to do something good but that was the only dance they could do. I was tempted to go and show 'em how it's done but I refrained. Thought I'd spare Lee the embarrassment.

We planned to soak up some culture whilst we were here as there's quite a few museums about the history of Shanghai etc etc.. We did try to go to one the other day, but we got a bit lost and stumbled upon the Insect Kingdom! Much more fun! There was loads of crazy shit in there, all different kinds of creepy crawlies we'd never seen or heard of. What we didn't like were the tags at the bottom of each cage; Thailand, Malaysia, Thailand, Malaysia, Malaysia, Thailand... Can't wait to encounter these bad boys, or not. The Stick Insects were our favourite, we were looking at the cage for ages before we spotted them, then when we did they were frickin' everywhere, they really do look like twigs! Doesn't take much to amuse me.

There's a place here that reminds us of Brighton. It's called the French Concession, and it's an area that has little lanes with boutiques, coffee shops, restaurants and bars. That was cool for a stroll. There was so many of what we call "shit shops", basically a shop that sells loads of different shit that is not useful to anyone, but everyone loves a mooch around and usually ends up buying some useless shit that just clogs up your house. Anyway, we love them, and the ones here are filled with really small cute stuff :-)

Earlier on we went and had a look at the national football stadium and Shanghai Shenhua's stadium to see where Anelka plays, then we came back and went for a walk around The Bund which is also a 2 min walk from our hostel. This is a walk way that takes you past the river were you can see all the buildings lit up, it was really pretty.

Haha the other night we were wondering around one of the many shopping centres and we were chatting away and I stumbled. I looked down and there was black and yellow tape covering one of those cases that covers wires, it was quite a biggun though. Lee was laughing because he said he noticed it right away and stepped over it, but 3 different people crossed it at the same time as us and they all tripped too. We got the idea to go to the floor above and stand and watch to see how many people tripped. It was hilarious, so many people fell over it. We made a video which I've just watched again now and I've got snot everywhere were I was trying to hold my laugh in so I didn't wake up the rest of the dorm. Definitely Youtube material.

This is our first experience of dorms. It's okay I suppose, it's annoying having to be dressed all the time, it wastes clothes too! Plus you have to bloody whisper all the time and you feel guilty if you get in late. It's okay though. I bet we'd meet more people this way too, the people that have been here have been mostly weird.

Despite my last post we have a lovely 20 hour train ride ahead of us tomorrow! We have a bed this time though. We're going to Zhangjiajie (don't quote me on the spelling there). James Cameron got the inspiration for Avatar from there. Remember the floating mountains in the film? They are in Zhangjiajie, except they are attached to the ground obviously. Can't wait. Oh and we have no internet in the hostel we're going to, so don't worry again if you don't hear from us, we're fine and dandy.

End of Hong Kong, Beginning of China.

No, we're not dead everyone! Just had a hectic last few days and I didn't get a chance to update the blog. We're now in the hostel nestled safely in our bunk beds after the worst journey of our lives (my life), but more on that later. Gosh I can't even remember what's happened.

Erm ok, so after Kowloon we took the ferry across to Hong Kong Island. Not as touristy round here, you can walk down the street without being blinded by the neon lights which was a welcome change. We didn't really get to see anything here, it was just a big piss up really. We arrived on the Thursday and we'd seen a HK pub crawl advertised in a few places and it had really good reviews. We were apprehensive to try another pub crawl after the Berlin incident, we felt like we might have been tempting fate! (For those that didn't read the last blog, Lee got spiked and it was a mare!). The night was great. We had a really good time and we met loads of people. I'd say there was about thirty people on the pub crawl. Quite a few locals too. It's the cheapest way to have a night out. You pay £8 to the people then you get free shots and discounted drinks in each place. Think we spent £50 between us, so we spent alot less than at home despite it being more expensive.

Lee became somewhat of a legend through his choice of attire that night. After me shouting "double denim" at him a few times it seemed to catch on. No one knew his name, he was dubbed The Double Denim Guy.

The next evening after we'd managed to drag ourselves out of bed, we were headed to the metro to go and see some sights, but we ended up bumping into a group of aussie lads from the night before who persuaded us to go out with them again that night. When they spotted us in the street they pointed and shouted, "DOUBLE DENIM!!!".

The following evening though a bit worse for wear, we did manage to go and see Victorias Peak. It's a big hill were you can see over the whole of Hong Kong. The views were beautiful.

The next day was China time. We got the coach to Guangzhou which took about 3 hours.
We're used to just showing up at places blind with no plans, no accommodation, etc. But we quickly realised that China was not going to be as easy. Very few people speak English for starters. Why should they, I know. But everywhere we've been so far everyone has been pretty much fluent so I suppose we've taken it for granted. I thought we'd get by on actions and gestures but the people here (well, in Guangzhou anyway), didn't seem interested in even trying to help. A stern No and shake of the head was our most commonly received response. They don't like to queue here either, or try to get past you. They cut in and if you're in their way they will literally push you. Using public transport with a 10kg backpack on has been awkward to say the least. Different strokes for different folks and all that, but we'd arrived in China with the impression that we hated the place.We stayed in Guangzhou for i think 3 nights, mainly to try and make plans to decide what we're going to do in China and we saw some sights too. We took a boat ride on the Pearl River which was lovely as all the buildings and bridges were lit up. Whilst we were looking around we came across a park which at first glance looked like a kids swing park judging by all the bright multicoloured climbing frames and other apparatus. Upon closer inspection it was infact a type of gym with adults swinging off the bits of kit. It was very odd. Our hotel was slightly odd too, they seemed to have an obsession with plastic bears. We went to a food market there, we saw chickens and ducks being prepared to have their heads chopped off. When we saw them getting taken in and we spotted the massive machetes waiting on the chopping block we made a move. Chickens wouldn't really bother me, but I think seeing the ducks being decapitated might have made me cry. I prefer feeding them bread in the park to be honest! Although I am partial to the odd duck wrap. Mmm nommy.

On making our China plan we've learnt that the key to survival here will be to plan everything in advance and have addresses and key words/phrases written down in Cantonese. We decided to come to Shanghai first, that's were we've just arrived at now. The train took 17 hours. It was horrible. We were going to get beds but they cost £67 each as apposed to £20 for a seat, goes without saying really that we had to go with the seat. Never again!!!!! The seats were so uncomfortable, they were fixed bolt upright and they were in fours and sixes with a table in the middle so you had some div starting at you the whole time. There was no armrest so you couldn't even get comfy for a kip. Some people didn't have seats so they were sprawled out on the floor. Getting to the toilet was like having a game of hopscotch. The loo was a hole in the floor and when I went some dirty bastard had laid a big turd in there and made no effort to shift it. So there's me trying to get rid of someone else's shit incase the person that came in afterwards thought it was me. My efforts were futile so I had to settle on going back out and facing the queue, pointing at the pile of poo, shaking my index finger from left to right then pointing at myself. I hope they understood. After all that I actually forgot to wee.

Facebook is blocked here. We can access it through a proxy server but it gives you the mobile site, which would be fine, but it's not even the proper mobile site. Can't see any notifications or anything like that, so if you need us email us r.m.jones@live.co.uk ..right, nap time I think, then off for an explore of Shanghai.

Kowloon, Hong Kong

Love love love Hong Kong! It's so westernised yet so different. Not majorly I suppose, just little things - if people are ill they wear a mask so as not to spread germs. There are hand sanitizing facilities everywhere. Everywhere is spotless. We saw some one on their hands and knees today cleaning a drain cover down a side street. Really?? Who's even going to see it? There is wifi literally everywhere, and I do mean everywhere. On the buses, in the telephone boxes etc. In the cinema they have something called popcorn shakers were you choose what flavour you want on your popcorn and then you just bung it on. Effectively a big salt shaker. I put apple cinnamon on mine mmmmm yummy! I then ate the whole thing in the lobby. I usually manage to wait until the Orange ads at least. We went to see Avengers. Sorry people, I thought it was a sack of shit!

An update on Lee's "diet", he got burger and chips in Colombo airport before we left. How long did he last...4 hours??? I absolutely hated him in the airport. He was fast asleep on the cold floor for about 3 hours and I was just sitting there wide awake. Think I managed an hour but I was shattered. I was so jealous.

As soon as we arrived in Hong Kong we got the bus to Tsim sha tsui in Kowloon. We hadn't booked anywhere in advance, but we'd researched a couple places in this area. We went to Chung King Mansions which is a building with 3 blocks with market type stalls and shops at the bottom and many hostels and apartments in the 20 or so floors above. It is a proper dive, just how I expected it. Small, dark, smelly rooms, battered furnishings, cockroaches etc. Love it though. Our building is where all the immigrants live. Most of the hostels seem to be run by Africans. The owner of ours, Samson, was saying that they come over and marry Chinese women to get visas. He says, "It's good, can't talk much because she no speak English, but sex is good", quality Samson.

After finding a place to crash for a couple of hours, it was time to wake up and go and watch Champions League Final. It started at 2.45am here, 7 hours ahead. Found it straight away, loads of places were showing it. This city doesn't sleep so everywhere was packed. Can't believe Chelsea the jammy bastards! 6am we got to bed. We've become nocturnal out here now. Nowhere closes 'til midnight so it's good, you don't feel like you've wasted a day when you roll out of bed at 2pm.

I love the fashion out here. I love weird clothes but I'd feel uncomfortable wearing them in England because every one is so judgemental. If I think the fashion here is good I bet I'm going to love Japan. I'm expecting it to be bonkers.

We got our visas for China sorted today, we pick them up on Saturday then we're going to leave for China that day or Sunday, depending on whether we can be arsed. Tomorrow we're going to get the ferry across to Hong Kong island and have a couple of days there :)

So long Lanka

We spent another day in the Adam's Peak area (can't remember the name of the town) to recover, then set off for Colombo. We've never booked accommodation is advance, we've always just arrived and found somewhere easy. Sometimes there are touts waiting and you get a good price. Because Colombo is the capital I expected this but it didn't happen. So we spent hours walking around the city, which is massive, with our backpacks on, sssssweating! We're not used to these high temperatures after spending ages in the hill country.

We couldn't find anywhere cheap, it was all massive hotels. The cheapest price we could find was £28 per night, and when you're used to paying £4.50 it's a big increase. In the end we went to stay at the YMCA. except it wasn't fun to stay there, you couldn't get a good meal and you couldn't do what you feel - there was a 9pm curfew, FUN! Even that was £15, and surely you can't stoop any lower than a YMCA?

We're in the airport now. Our flight to Hong Kong is at 7.20am Sri Lankan time. Check in opens at 4.20am, so by the time we would have had to have left for the airport there'd have been no point in paying for a room, especially at those prices. We're just going to mooch around the airport and if we get tired have a kip on the chairs for a bit.

Check-out was at 12pm today, so we had to try and waste as much time in Colombo as possible. Wasn't really hard, it's such a big city. We decided to buy some more shit here whilst everything is cheap. Mainly toiletries; toothpaste, deodorant etc. Printed off our flight tickets. I would have completely forgotten, I'd have just showed up to the airport expecting to check in without a ticket. We went to an internet cafe and googled where McDonald's was, haha. Walked about 30 mins there and 30 mins back for it. HELLO BIG MAC!!! Lee says that he's off the fast food and take aways now. My ring piece is he! I give him a week max. I said I'd put it on here so you're all my witnesses.

After each country we're going to do a summary of the good and bad bits, so here goes!: (balls, looks like Martinez might be manager, ooer don't think am too happy with that. Ok anyway..)

Highlights:

1. For me a real highlight was when we got talking to a man who after saying we were from England he started to say how nice English people were. He said that after the tsunami people from Liverpool went and help build him a new house. I butted in to say I was from Liverpool and he kept on thanking me saying how lovely I am and how lovely my people are. He says they painted a Liver Bird on the side of his house and how much he loves it. Eventhough I did absolutely nothing, I was still so proud of the Liverpudlians and I was really proud to be from Liverpool for that moment. It really touched me, so that was nice.

2. When we went to the Matara ground and we met the coach and got the Nowotny badges. Whilst it was still one of my highlights, this one is Lee's more so, his obsession with football extends beyond mine. Plus he had some odd bond with the coach, it looked like they were in love. They swapped numbers and all sorts. Wit woo!

3. Releasing the buba turtles. This was so cool!!

4. Riding the elephant, obviously a highlight.

5. Climbing Adam's Peak!!!

Lowlights:

1. Being swollen generally (me). Had swollen ankles still two weeks into the trip. Burning my face and having a swollen alien head.

2. The aftermath of Adam's Peak (me again). Calves aren't half givin' me jib.

3. Being too hot!!

Likes:

1. The people (the ones that aren't utter bellends)

2. The lack of health and safety. Want to ride your 1 year old child on your motorbike handle bars? Swing off the side of a moving bus/train? Work on building sites in just your shorts and flip flops with no steal toe caps and hard hat? Come to Sri Lanka.

3. The food. It's a bit samey, but Rotti's are nommy, and so is the chicken curry the first 142648 times you eat it. After that gets a bit boring. Lee hearts devilled chicken (basically 'hot as fuck' chicken).

Dislikes:

1. The people (the ones that are utter bellends).

2. The sound of horns.

3. Tuk tuk drivers. You can't pass one without them asking you "you want tuk tuk?". You say no thank you and then they just change the order of their sentence, "tuk tuk, you want?". Next they start asking the same question but in a different tone. No, your offer for a tuk tuk doesn't sound any more appealing when you do it in a ladies voice. When we get fed up we ask them for a tuk tuk ride to ridiculous places. "How much to England?", "how much to [insert name of building we're standing outside of]?". The best bit is when you see their brain ticking over then they realise it's a joke. Most of the time they actually give you a price.

4. No personal space. Lee has a phobia of horrible skin, it makes him cringe when people touch him, and boy do people love touching you out here. Not in a touchy feely way, but like they have no problem sitting on your knee despite there being enough space for two bodies. They make no effort to move their arms if you're touching say on the bus for example, HATE that.

Ok so thats Sri Lanka! That month went fast. All in all had a boss time. Can't wait for our next adventure to begin. Bring on Hong Kong!

Adam's Peak

We finally managed to leave Ella the next day, just about. Had an absolute mare in doing so. We knew we wouldn't have enough money on us to pay for the hostel but we didn't worry about it too much as there was an ATM across the road. So we go to check out and Lee leaves me with the bags whilst he nipped to the cash point. I thought he was taking a long time. He comes back and says it's broke. The next ATM is in the next town which is an hours train ride away. We really didn't have time for this because we already spent a few extra days in Ella and we needed to get to our next destination as our visas run out in a few days.

I asked the man can we pay by card and he said his machine was broken. I was just brainstorming and I asked if there was anything else he could think of that we could do and he shouted at me going, "I need my money, what am I supposed to do!!". So that was it then, Lee started shouting and swearing, as did I, as did the man. There was two ways to resolve it. 1. Get the train to Hatton to get money, then come all the way back again and then start our journey to Adam's Peak. 2. Knock him out and leave without paying.
As much pleasure as I would have taken from the latter, we chose the sensible option (which was go to Hatton for those that know me well).

The little gobshyte (not Lee, hostel owner) wouldn't let us leave without us leaving our backpacks there, yet he couldn't provide us with a locked room in which to keep them. We told him to fuck off and I gave him my expired passport, the dozy turd didn't even realise. So we left our packs with our pals at the bar Nescoffee and off we set to Hatton.

I was more than willing to leave without paying that man, he was horrible and there was absolutely no need, but we weren't sure whether I could be traced through me old passport and I didn't want to risk having a run in with the bizzies over here. Having said that they seem like lovely chaps and they have a very smart uniform. It did make me feel so much better that I stole his plug adaptor. I did this because the hostel had a 10pm curfew which I didn't agree with haha. As if knocking them up at silly bells to let us in each night wasn't enough.

Anyway, we got the train to Hatton. Five hours later we arrived back in Ella (bloody trains!!). We set off for Adam's Peak at 3pm. I was so angry. It's a good 8 hours away and I didn't want to be travelling the day of the climb. We did as much as we could that night and stopped over in Nuwara Eliya again for the night ready to continue our journey the next day.

Another shitty day. We were on the packed bus, getting a seat where we could, ending up one or two rows away from eachother. This man who was standing up near to me asks me where I'm from blah blah all the usual shit. I wasn't in the best of moods and frankly I could have done without it, but I answered back politely. A few minutes later he asked me the same series of questions. Again I answered. By the fourth time he asked me where I was from I had started to get wound up. I said, "look I've told you three times, leave me alone now". He continued to badger me, saying things I couldn't understand. Lee kept asking me if I was okay, but he knows that if the man did or said anything to offend me I'd get up and lamp him myself, so he left it. The man started to tell me I was beautiful and he was getting really creepy and I felt very uncomfortable. I hate these situations when it involves foreign men, because to me they're all creepy because their mannerisms are so different so I never know when to slap 'em or say thank you. He bend down really close to my face. Before I could really register him there Lee had gripped him up and slammed him down onto the bus floor haha. The bus conductor could see what was going on and he told the man sitting next to me to swap sides so the weird man couldn't get to me again. He left me alone for a bit, but would you believe that as soon as Lee was distracted with paying the bus conductor, he came up behind me and whispered, "hello, where are you from?", haha. Unbelievable.

Fiiiiinally we got to Delhousie which is a teeny ghost town at the base of Adam's Peak. Adam's Peak is a mountain approx. 7359ft above sea level. I must have been high when I said I wanted to climb it.

We left at 1am that night. It took us just over 3 gruelling hours to reach the top. It starts off kind of easy, gradually getting harder, and harder, then ridonkulously harder to the point I found myself shouting aloud, "help me, I'm going to die!!", yes folks, it was that bad.
You literally don't come across a single soul. All the trees are rattling and things are blowing past you like tumbleweeds in the wind. You hear dogs howling, twigs snapping. Oooh it was so scary. I was in control of the torch and Lee kept having a go at me because every 5 seconds I'd hear something and whip the torch around to see what it was, leaving us both to trip over in the pitch black. As soon as we got going properly though, all that went out the window, I didn't give a shit what was lurking I was just consumed with agony trying to get up the bloody mountain.

It was rocks and steps most of the way with the odd flat bit stretching for about 4 yards if you're lucky. God them flat bits were the best thing since sliced bread. It felt like heaven. Although my legs carried on the marching motion you adhere to when climbing stairs so my body didn't reap the benefit to the best of it's ability.

For the last maybe 45 minutes to an hour it's just a continuous flight of incredibly steep stairs, like the ones in my Grandma and Grandad's terrace that I used to panic over as a sprog. All I can say is that I am so glad we did the ascent by torchlight. If I had have been able to see how big and far the mountain was I'd have never have done it, and if I'd have had the ability to look down I'd have got stuck and not have been able to move. Ignorance is bliss as they say.

The worst part of the climb for me was when I turned a corner and could see a little bit of the temple at the top. Because I knew I'd made it I guess the adrenalin that I was running on diminished and my whole body went like jelly. I almost cried I was so relieved. I just about managed to get to the top, then when I did I was oddly fine. Started doing a cool down and a few stretches and all sorts haha. There was a building that resembled a bunker from a Bond film that you could sit in to be sheltered from the wind. It was super windy and super cold. Not surprising when you're sitting above the clouds at 4am. We sat there until sunrise which was 5.20am. It was so beautiful. When the sun was fully up we went round to the other side and it casts a shadow of the temple onto the clouds. Amazing.

The descent took us about 2 hours. I thought that would be the worst part but it was actually okay. That was until my groin seized up and i twisted my knee. I was okay doing the downward stepping motion, but when we came to a flat section, and when we got back into town where it was flat, I genuinely couldn't walk. I was walking like I'd been arsed raped, then shit myself, and then some. Argh the pain!!! A doggy followed us down the whole way, bless him. He'd walk with us, then every so often he'd go a little bit ahead and wait for us. So cute.

Lee was pretty much fine, especially taking into account that he carried my bag of provisions a fair bit of the way. At one point he had his own bag on his back, my bag on his front and he was carrying the torch. Didn't hear a peep out of him. At the same time there's me crawling up the steps announcing that I was infact dying.

It was so worth doing, but I tell you what - never again.

Arrack is the Devil

Ok so we woke up the next day and decided we couldn't be arsed going to Ella Rock, it's just going to be a shit version of Adams Peak which we're doing in a few days. So we swerved that and went to the tea factory instead!

The tea factory was actually very good, for a bit. I started to get a bit bored towards the end, maybe because I'm not a member of the Tea Drinkers Massive I didn't really get the fascination,'cause Lee was well into it. Either that or he's just a geek. He was asking loads of questions, even asking the same question three times on some occasions. Yeah he's a geek. I think our guide could tell I was starting to lose the will to live. For the rest of the tour he went round with his back to me and spoke only to Lee. He seemed well into his job though and passionate about tea, I guess I must have offended him when I started to look at the ceiling.

We had to wear hair nets and flasher macks to go round the factory in. None of the workers wore these. I think they must do it to give the workers something to laugh at now and again. Lee looked like a right tosser, the worst bit is I suited it.

We were supposed to leave the next day but we couldn't wake up, so we went to see another waterfall, Rawana Falls. So glad we stayed because it was really beautiful. There was more space to have a swim in this one, whereas Ramboda Falls was quite rocky. You couldn't climb up this one, was secretly glad about that!

That night we met up with our English pal Solly from Devon. We were only meant to have a quiet one 'cause he had to be up at 6am the next day to get to Galle, and our check out was 10am (early for us). Thing is though, you can't have a quiet couple here. Because of the altitude you get shit faced really quickly. It also didn't help that a crazy Australian man came and sat with us, who happened to be absolutely smashed and hilariously funny. He made you want to drink. So we sat in our usual haunt for a bit then we went to the locals bar and had a bit of a lock in. We were drinking their local spirit, Arrack (ergh I'm feeling queasy again typing about it). It tastes like whiskey, not too bad with a drop of coke.
I literally had 5 drinks last night, and I was absolutely wasted. I was sick this morning. Vomiting off five drinks haha, I'm such a cheap date in the mountains! Can't believe I was sick, I've felt (and looked) like road kill all day today. This is officially my first proper hangover. I usually get away scot free, I knew my luck would run out sooner or later.
For those poor unsuspecting folk that were there: it was worse than that time you had to witness me starkers and smearing Philadelphia cheese in my hair. Although my actions weren't as bad this time, I only tried to steal a tuk tuk.

So we were meant to leave again today, but in light of my tender condition we stayed. We've had a lovely Sunday doing absolutely nada. Hopefully we'll leave tomorrow and get down to Adams Peak!

Nuwara Eliya

After Kandy we went down to Nuware Eliya. We went there to see Ramboda Falls, which is a waterfall if the name didn't give it away.

I didn't really think too much about what we were doing. When I put my flip flops on that morning I clearly didn't factor in the possibility of maybe having to do a bit of climbing to see these waterfalls. Judging by Lee's footwear he obviously made the same school boy error.

We'd driven past it on the bus on the way into Nuwara Eliya and we didn't realise that was just a small section of it. When we got there we noticed a small opening to the side of the waterfall which looked like a pathway. There were a few rocks that had been fashioned into steps and we soon gathered that you could climb to the top. The weather was nice, the pathway didn't look too baron, so off we went.

After about 15 minutes in, the place was like a jungle. The path was covered in vines and plants and other green shit, at times the path disappeared and we had to climb across rocks hoping it was the right way. I was fully expecting to come face to face with a jaguar or something equally as mean. I kept my thoughts to myself so as not to scare Lee, and right at that moment he goes,
"There's definitely going to be animals in here, look at it! We should go back. There's going to be snakes".
I agreed but I didn't want to tell him that because I didn't want to turn back, so I told him to stop being a pussy and we carried on. Over an hour later of full on climbing we finally reached the top. To say we were sweating would be the understatement of the century.
It was worth it though the view was beautiful.

By this point I had to lose the flip flops, they kept skidding off my feet in crazy directions and Lee kept shouting at me for spazzing about like it was intentional. To my absolute delight the same thing happened to him on the way back down. His flip flops proper twined him. The way he ended up was hilarious, I nearly pee'd. He wouldn't let me take a picture the tit. By the time I'd composed myself enough to get the camera out he'd already straightened himself out. It's a shame 'cause it was one of them photo's I could have just sat and laughed at for ages. Cracking up now just typing about it.

Before the descent, we climbed down (or skidded down bare foot if you're me. I'm so going to get hook worm) to a pool at the bottom of the top part of the waterfall for a jump in and a swim. To get there you had to climb over a load of massive rocks. Had to do all the obligatory moves pretending to be Lara Croft haha (You'd have done it too!). The water was so nice and clear, freezing cold like. Hello fanny ache and ball ache!

On our way back to the side of the waterfall to get down again, I was doin' me Lara Croft moves trying to get over a rock and I slipped and mangled my leg. I was stuck. I couldn't help myself for laughing which made me more stuck. Lee didn't help, he videoed me. On the video my leg looks like it's broken. Don't know how it's not to be honest, it looks like it shouldn't be in that position. It was funny though, I didn't hurt myself so all is good.

The climb down was harder than that of coming up. Also by this point the heavens had opened. I tried the flip flops again, but if I thought they were slippy before then I had another thing coming. Off they came again. It was so steep coming down. I went first and Lee kept shouting at me for going slow and he kept going ahead demonstrating how to do it. (This was about the time his flip flops went on a mad one. Brillaint). You'd have thought he'd have been more concerned about me falling off the edge, but no, he was in a rush to get down to the bottom to get out the rain, despite already being wet from the swim, despite having reached the bottom we were only to stand and wait in the rain for a bus anyway.

Nuwara Eliya is nick named 'Little England', because English colonialists came here. I on the other hand think it's more to do with the amount of piss heads on the street downing their bottles of Arrack, the many alcohol shops, and the pubs seem ten a penny too. Oh and the climate. It lashed down, and it got really cold here too, about 17 degrees? Sounds nice, but we've had 36 plus the last week or so, so this feels cold now.

We arrived in Ella today. Going to climb Ella Rock tomorrow, it's about 9km in total. I can categorically say that I shall not be branding my flip flops tomorrow, Vans all the way, baby!

Kandy bar

The journey to Kandy was an absolute mare. We got on our first bus at Arugam Bay at 1pm, we arrived in Kandy at 10:30pm. The first two buses were okay, we had a seat atleast. The third and last bus we got on was awful. We didn't have a seat and it was so crammed with bodies you didn't even have to hold on, you couldn't move. Luckily we were driving through mountains and it was night time so despite being packed in like sardines it was surprisingly cool.
The bus was packed with men, yet I only got offered a seat after 2 hours of standing when I must have turned green were I felt so ill. Fair play to the man though, better late than never. When we got on he also took our bags off us and put them on his lap so we could hold on properly. We got there safe and sound in the end though.

The whole reason we came to Kandy was because after extensive research it looked like our best option to get the FA Cup final. We really couldn't wait to watch the footy with a good few well deserved alcoholic beverages and have some western food in the English owned pub. We were fantasising about it for days. When we arrived here we were told there's a Buddist festival going on, started on the 4th and ended on the 6th. Great we thought, good timing. That was until we went looking for somewhere to watch the match.

Five and a half hours we spent power walking/jogging through the city looking for somewhere. Because of this fricking festival everywhere was closing at 8 or 9, if opening at all, and the game only started at 9:45 for us over here. We tried hotels too but none had the right channel.

After all the tears and disappointment we decided our only hope was to go back to the gaff and try and stream it on one of our tablets. We were absolutely gutted. To try and perk ourselves up we said we'd go supermarket and get a load of booze for the game. No no no,because of the God forsaken festival AGAIN, the sale or consumption of alcohol and meat has been banned. It was such a low point. In the end we watched the match on Lee's tablet propped up against the iron on the ironing board, more sober than a motherlover. To top it all off we lost. All that effort for what. Gutted.

Earlier on that day we nearly had a fight with a tuk tuk driver. After I bartered with him he said he'd do a fare for 200 rupees. I repeated this twice to clarify. When we got to our destination Lee gave him a 500 note and he short changed us by 50 rupees. I did wonder what he was doing when I saw him pull out two 100 notes and hesitate when he went to grab a third, then instead got a 50 note. We said hang on you said 200. He denied it and the three of us were arguing back and forth for a bit. He then went to drive off the cheeky prick, so I jumped in the back of the tuk tuk. His face illustrated that he didn't think of this scenario. He didn't know what to do but he certainly didn't want to pay up. It wasn't until Lee got aggressive to the point I thought he was going to smack him that he paid up, whimpering "I no like you people", presumably he meant English. How many muggy tourists have let him get away with that I wonder, probably very many.

Today we went to see the elephants! Yay! Our elephant was called Pooja, we got to bathe her and she gave us a shower with her trunk. Afterwards we rode her bare back (sorry sounds rude). It was absolutely amazing. My trip was tainted by the people working there though. Our mahout looked incredibly pissed off for whatever reason and I didn't like the way he was treating the elephant. I Know they're wild beasts capable of a lot of damage and they have to be kept inline, but the way he was poking her with his stick with such aggression just made me want to go home. The staff were trying to usher us in and out as quickly as possible and it felt as though they didn't care for the welfare of the animals, they just wanted money. They kept asking us for tips eventhough they'd done fuck all. If they were that concerned about the elephants then badger us for donations, not money for yourself. There were alot of volunteers from Europe, so I guess if the elephants were being mistreated they wouldn't be there? It was definitely worth doing though, just a shame the humans ruined it.

Did you know they make paper out of elephant poo? Nugget of useless information there for ya.

We each had a crack at driving a tuk tuk today as well, was quality. Roads are mad here though, the big vehicles get right of way so I thought I was going to get ran off the road a few times like but 'twas good :)

Guess what, it's the 7th which means the festival is over, which means.... ALCOHOL O'CLOCK!!

You're made to feel like a criminal here for getting alcohol. Where we went today you have to come out of the supermarket, go into a back street ally past all the bins and shit and then you start to see all these sheepish lookin' geezers carrying their liquor. You go a bit further then there's a concrete hut situation behind jail bars with a couple of lads serving. It was like doing a bit of a walk of shame. Felt like we were doing something really naughty.

Not long got back armed with a litre of Smirnoff with Redbull and juice! Nom nom nom. Oh and a big bar of chocolate! Nom nom nom... HAPPY FACE!!!

Bye Arugam Bay

Our last night in Arugam Bay tonight. We'll be kinda sad to leave here. We've been here for 6 nights (I think) so we've got a little routine going on. Just to make you jealous: Rouse at about 10am, have a shower, get in our swimming gear and piss arse about for a bit (Lee). Take a leisurely stroll down to the beach for about 11:30am. Catch some rays, have a dip etc. Ah bliss. By this time you will be in work muahahaha.

A couple days ago we were having lunch in this place and as we were finishing the lads that worked there pulled out this big board game a few tables away. He saw us looking so he invited us for a game. The language barrier was difficult but we managed to understand the rules. It was called Carrom. It's quality. Bit like pool but you flick the disc things (Google it). We sat there for hours playing. I was uber shit. The poor lad who was on my team kept cringing when I was about to take my shots. They both had a good laugh at me. We walked past that night, a good five hours later, and there they were in the same spot still playing. They called us over and we had another few games with them. They were sound.

You can't seem to get spirits in the bars here. The ones we've been in only do beer and soft drinks. A couple did G&T and some cocktails but we like our voddy!
We asked a local and he said you can buy it at the Holiday Inn. Not sure whether that's the name of the shop. Surely they can't have an actual Holiday Inn as we know it here? I don't know. We were told to get a tuk tuk but we decided to walk. Now we've heard about a trip you can do here around the swamp to see the wildlife. Birds, snakes, elephants and many crocodiles. We were also told you don't have to do the trip, you can just walk there but you'd be, "fucking stupid", to do that.

So anyway, we're walking along this long, near pitch black road looking for Holiday Inn. I started to feel a bit uneasy. The sounds I was hearing were different. Not your usual grasshoppers and other night time critters, this sounded different but I couldn't place it. It made me look around and try and see where we were. I looked to my left and squinted my eyes and I realised. We were at the fucking swamp! I turned on my heels so fast and said in the sternest voice I've ever heard, "we're going back", "..what, what's up??", "just shut up we're going back", haha. The phrase 'shitting myself' has a whole new meaning to me now, I was so scared I actually needed a poo. I've seen enough Steve Irwin to know that I don't stand a chance against a crocodile. We got away unscathed thank God but I was absolutely petrified. If I needed the vodka before that ordeal then I certainly needed it afterwards (never did get any).

Keep having power cuts here. We've had 4 in the 6 days we've been here. Goes out for ages at a time too. In the day it's not too bad but at night isn't the best. We were tripping over dogs the other night. Went off in the restaurant few days back. Had to wait ages for our scran.

On the bus the other day and I was complaining to Lee about how my arse doesn't fit in the seat. He said the seats are made smaller here because the people aren't as big. I gathered this, that's fine, he could have left it there but no. He went on to say:
"They're not thick set"
"What do you mean? Are you saying I'm "thick set"?"
"Well, yeah. Look at the size of your shoulders for a girl"
Haha, cheers Lee, I've now got a brand new insecurity I never knew I had.

Dave and Russian sex

After our first encounter with Dave we we're fine, we didn't mind his presence. Lee wasn't a fan of him doing a poo plop in his wash bag but it was all good. We went out and came back to the room that evening to get dressed and I said to Lee that although we're all pals, I didn't really want Dave sharing the bed. He agreed, so we came up with the plan of stuffing some cushions at the bottom of the door, presuming that's where he was getting in, also assuming that he had already departed and we weren't trapping him inside the room.

So anyway, Lee goes over to the foot of the bed and picks up one of the throw cushions and screams like a girl. I scream because I don't know what he's screaming at. He manages to get out that the mouse is there.. in the bed. That was a step too far for me. We had to get him out.

We went out and told the owner who seemed genuinely horrified. After her apologies she says, 'hang on, I'll get Tiger', I was expecting a beast. She hands us a little basket and inside is the smallest, cutest little kitten you've ever seen. The mouse was practically the same size as it. I didn't think it would be much help but I put him in the room anyway just because he was cute and I wanted a cuddle.

After rustling some furniture around I spotted the mouse shoot behind a plastic bag on the floor. I chucked the cat in his direction but he came straight back and started licking my ankles and pawing the bottom of my dress. Lee was also as much use as a chocolate fire guard. It was me against Dave.

I slowly moved the plastic bag and he shot off. Soon enough Lee spotted him snuggled amongst his clothes on the shelf. Kel surprise it was me that had to move the clothes to get at the mouse. At this point the owner had come in to offer her assistance. As did her boyfriend and a local man. So it was me, Lee, Tiger, owner, boyfriend and local all running round the room chasing the damn mouse.

As we were chasing him, Dave ran straight past the open door (argh!) and went into the bathroom and disappeared. The local who seemed to know what he was on about said he went down a pipe. He looked proper so we took his word for it and blocked up the pipe with paper and tape, convinced we had it sorted, (shame I can hear the owner having sex) we left it and went out. Upon our return I go to the bathroom to check the paper is still in place and guess who is sitting on the toilet seat bold as brass? The Davemeister.

I told the owner he was back and she said she had a mouse trap, why didn't she say this before?! (I can hear spanking haha, I'm going back to me room) We set it up in the bathroom and after a couple hours I could hear him rattling around inside. By this time it was gone midnight. I couldn't leave him in the cage, so I took him outside and set him free and I gave him some cheese and bread because I'm just nice like that. Farewell Dave me old mucker.

More Mirissa, Tangalle and Arugam Bay

We finally got to see the whales, yay! Having said that we didn't get to see all that much of them. The water was choppy so they weren't really playing ball. We saw them a few times but not close enough for snaps unfortunately. However, at one point we were completely surrounded by hundreds (well maybe about 60) of Spinner Dolphins. I liiike (Borat).

At one point I almost fell arse over tit off the side of the boat were I was trying to get good pictures. To prevent my death one of the crew kindly offered to take my camera and take the pictures for me. I'm quite particular with my photographs, I hate shit pictures and I'm under the illusion that no one can take better photos that me, so I trust no one with my camera. I felt rude saying no so I just gave him it, but I knew it!! I'm now left with pictures of the baron water, a cargo ship and two pictures of the back of my head...???

After a munch and a nap we got on the bus to Tangalle. The place we stayed in was lovely. It was all modern and open plan. For £7 a night you can't go wrong. That night when we were heading out for food we noticed on the roof of the house opposite there was about 10 to 12 monkeys just chillin' out. Just as I was getting the camera out it started to rain so they all started to squeak or whatever noises monkeys do and they all went off. Was mad to see so many in an urban area.

Tangalle doesn't really seem like a nice place. It has an uneasy feel to it. When a tuk tuk driver told us it was a dangerous place and it's murder capital of Sri Lanka, I could believe him. Nothing happened or no one said or did anything to make me feel that way, but you know when you just get that feeling?
Despite this we still went walking down pitch black back alleys to find a shop that sold booze. We found one, but we couldn't get near for people. We decided to swerve it in the end because we couldn't be arsed to wait. It was Friday night so everyone must have been getting the drink in for the weekend. Either this or it's just a town of raging alcoholics.

The next day we got a bus to Arugam Bay. Took about 7 hours in total with one change. The first bus was so packed we had to stand for about an hour. You can forget your tricep kickbacks and your bench press and all that, trying to stand up on a Sri Lankan bus will sort your bingo wings out let me tell ya. Whilst on the bus on the way here we noticed sign posts saying elephants crossing. We had to swerve past one in the road and we saw 3 others, a mum and 2 babies just relaxing on the road side. Mental.

When we got to Arugam Bay it was night time so we pretty much went in the first hostel we came across. Made a swift exit when I spotted mouse shit on the bed, and shall we say man fluid on the sheets. I know they're hostels and I know we're paying next to nothing, but you still expect a certain level of cleanliness. We moved on to a place which was really cool. We stayed in a folly which is effectively a hut on the beach. It was about the size of a really big bed and the whole floor was mattress with cushions and pillows and it had saris for curtains. It was super cosy and it was really peaceful going to sleep to the sound of the sea. It wasn't practical for more than one night as it's basically camping, but it was fun.

The place we're staying in now is fine, does the trick. Woke up this morning to find a few mouse droppings on some of our stuff and on the furnishings. I'm starting to think that maybe this area just has a problem with mice. I don't mind the mouse here because the room is clean. I saw him today. He's a ballsy fucker, he just waltzed in (not literally, that would be weird) whilst I was tidying up my stuff. I've named him Dave.

Last night was funny. We we're trying to figure out how to put the mosquito net up. The lady had washed it and went out whilst we we're out, so because she couldn't get in the room she left it on the chair outside for us. It was like the bloody Krypton Factor. Took us ages to figure out. In the midst of things Lee was swinging off the string that holds the 'squito net and he pulled it towards the fan (???) and it snapped the string clean and got the other half all tangled in the propellers and it sounded like the fan was going to explode. A piece of garden furniture and some good balance got it fixed in the end.

Our place is right next to the mosque. Didn't realise until I got woken up at sunrise to what I genuinely thought was the beginning of 'Circle Of Life' from The Lion King. It wasn't until I woke up a bit a few seconds later that I realised it was the geezer calling people to mosque. He's going again now as I type. Annoying much??!!

Mirissa

We left Unawatuna few days ago now, weve been in Mirissa since. It's only a small town but we came here because it's meant to be one of the best places in the world to see Blue Whales. After a couple of set backs we've finally booked the trip for tomorrow.
The first time we tried to book it the whale man said the water was too rough, the second time we planned to book it I got ill. I had a really bad throat and a fever, thank God for over the counter antibiotics!

Today we got the bus into habaraduwa to go to the turtle hatchery. En route there was a crazy lady who after dancing in the middle of the road made a beeline for me (of course). She was telling me how good her and I would look together and she kept trying to hold my hand. I was actually genuinely scared and Lee offered zero assistance. He hid in the pharmacy. Cheers pal. Why do I attract all the freaks?!
There wasn't much to the hatchery itself, it was only the size of a large room. There was a few different sections which held different breeds of turtles and all that. There was also a bit where they'd planted the turtle eggs into the sand waiting for them to hatch. The best bit was at the end were for a small donation you can release baby turtles into the sea. It was amazing. It made me think of you Soph, you'd have loved it. Haven't seen any donkeys yet though! They were so cute waddling towards the sea. The man said in 30 years they'll come back to the exact same beach to lay their eggs.

After there we got the bus into Matara for a wonder. This place is a bigger, it's where all the locals from Mirissa go to get their shit. It was kinda rotten here, so when we spotted some lads playing footy we decided to stop and watch to get away from the hustle and bustle. Turns out it was Matara city football ground and it was the 1st division team that were training. The coach was an ex Sri Lankan national player. Their ground was built by the German Football Federation and Jens Nowotny came over when it was built and he visits on a regular. Nowotny gave the coach some badges and then he gave them to us bless him. He was in awe of us and it should have been the other way around. He was such a nice man. So, in an indirect way, we got a pressie from Nowotny :)

A bird took a shit on me today, whilst I was eating too. I felt a plop on my bag, I thought I was being para, but I goes to Lee, 'have I been shit on?', expecting a negative. Guess there's a first time for everything. My bag was open a tiny bit, and needless to say, it went straight inside me bag, and on the handle too. Bit of water and a plastic bag for a cloth did the trick. It wasn't too sloppy thank God.

We went to a restaurant the other day because we were gagging a burger (so much for eating on a budget, eh). The place was funny, they proper ripped the pizza hut sign and KFC all in one, except their Colonel looked like Don King. Other than that we've been pretty good with the food, mainly eating street food which is cheaper than a motherlover. There's this tuktuk that plays music who goes round selling pastries and rotties, kinda like a savoury ice-cream man. It's like 9p for a pastry. Happy days.

I've burnt my forehead and it's all swollen up, don't know why but this has happened to me a few times. People are looking at me strange, I look like a Somali with me big alien head.

Oh yeah, Paul, your take on hands free is old news over here mate. The Lankans have been lodging their mobiles in their motorbike helmets for years. Not quite as good as a Sherpa hat in the summer I'll give you that.

More Negombo and Unawatuna

Sorry about the serious lack of pictures, because I'm only using a tablet uploading the pictures onto the blog is an absolute mare, takes forever. I'll sort something soon.


ok so we spent one more day in Negombo. There isn't really much to see or do here, it's only a small town, so we thought we'd look for a beach. We walked in the general direction of the beach and came across the Negombo prison and courthouse, a couple schools and a field were all the kids play cricket. We went a bit further and went to the local fish market, it was crazy. they were selling goats, chicks and bunnies too. So cute!


Just beyond the market was one of the shanti towns. Lee was hesitant to go in incase the locals got funny but they were lovin' it, especially the kids. It looked like a really poor area, the majority were just living in tin huts, there was the odd brick house. Loveto show some photos but y'know!


That night at the hostel we met a lad from Italy called Matteo. He was also heading south so we said we'd leave together the next day. To get to Unawatuna we took a bus back to Colombo and from there a bus to Matala were we got off here at Unawatuna. We didn't see Colombo when we flew in, we said we'd stop here on our flight out but we got a little glimpse of it going to the bus station, it is mental. So many people and vehicles and noise and smells. The bus station had that many buses in it I've no idea how it operates, it was like bumper cars. Saying that it did take half an hour to just get out the station and we were leaving from bus stop number 2 so you can imagine.


Did my first wee in a public toilet here at the trainstation. It's one of them hole in the ground situations. Needless to say i pissed on my foot. Good job I was wearing flip flops. I thought I had the squat and pee scenario mastered from boozy nights out, obviously not.


The bus ride was an experience in itself. It took around 5 hours, but we enjoyed it. The bus was well dodgy and incredibly sweaty. National Express it was not. 730 rupees for two of us, which is around £3.70. Bargain. Towards the end of the trip the bus pulled off road and everyone started go get off. At first I thought there was a problem with the bus or something, then we realised this was their services. Where we were stopped was on the coast, and inbetween the shrubery you could see a beautiful stretch of beach, and there was a little shop. We got samosa type things and their version of custard creams and ate them whilst we chatted to our bus friends and watched the wild cows wondering amongst us, then the bus started to pull off so we had to leg it and jump on in motion, Sri Lankan stylie!

They get that and we get bloody nutsford services on the M6.

So our hostel here in Unawatuna is nice. It has a private bathroom which is always a plus, mosquito nets and a veranda. The people that own it are a little ald couple, they're so sweet. When we got here they didn't even know we had a reservation because they don't know how to use the internet, despite advertising their guest house on hostelbookers haha.

Yesterday we went to Unawatuna beach which is meant to be famous for it's beauty, but sadly the tsunami wiped away half of the beach. Even when it's low tide there's pretty much no sand. It was still nice to see though cos it was just all locals having a swim and drinking rum and playing cards.

This morning I woke up early and I swore I could hear monkey noises. I went out and theres 4 of 5 monkeys eating in the trees. There's a jungle close to here so apparently they wonder over here alot. We had bananas with breakfast so we put some out and they came quite close. It was so cool. I feel like we've seen so much already and we've only been away for ..is it 3 nights?? I lose track.

Today we went down to a different beach here, not as nice as the ones we saw on the way in here, again this one had been taken by the tsunami. The water is so close to the buildings, it's a matter of time before the place disappears.

http://s1242.photobucket.com/albums/gg530/Rebeccabenjamin/

Negombo, Sri Lanka

We're here, finally! Eventhough the flight was only 13 hours it seemed so much longer were we had to change over at Mubai. The airline was so good. They gave out free drinks, fed us twice on the first leg (curry for breakfast? Why the devil not) and again on the second leg which was only two hours so that was good. 


You shoud see some of the stuff Lee has brought. We were sitting in Heathrow and he goes 'You know what I've brought that could be really useful?', I'm thinking he's come up trumps with something, I don't know, maybe a makeshift washing line or something a bit good at least. He goes into his bag and pulls out none other than a first aid emergeny guide and his first aid badge hahaha. I was laughin my head off and he got offended saying he brought it for my sake, asthough if I were dying you'd have the time to rumage through your pack and read a booklet, ha bless.


When we arrived in Colombo and we left the airport, we got a free shuttle to a bus station were we then got on another bus to Negombo bus terminal. The buses are mad, people just jump on and off whilst it's still moving. The hostel was meant to be walking distance from the bus terminal so we turned down the gazillion offers for a tuk tuk ride. After walking round in a loop for 20 minutes looking for the place, we decided to go back with our tail between our legs and get in a tuk tuk. So we clambered in, taking off our packs and struggling to fit inside, then he took us literally 100 yards down the road. Oh. We had walked past it twice. What made is worse was that the gate to the hostel was locked anyway. A young lad on a motor bike was going past and he stopped and asked if he could help. He tried calling the hostel on his mobile bless him but it rang out. We weren't sure when it would open & we didn't want to go for a walk as it would render the tuk tuk ride pointless yet we didn't want to stand outside the hostel indefinately. After much deliberation we just sat on a rock and waited...and waited. 9am he opened, but give him his due he cleaned the room straight away for us and didn't charge us extra, despite us only having booked to check in 6 hours later. I'll take the blame for this one, because I'm a spaz I booked the hostel for a day after we arrived. Anyway..


The hostel is nice, very basic but very clean. Beds really comfy. There's no hot water but we don't mind. It's really hot so would have been having cold showers anyway. 
We got in the room and slept til 8pm our time (6 hours ahead) and we then went out to have a look around. We got talking to a man in the street called Nimal. He showed us round a bit, took us to a supermarket and got us some herbal stuff they use for mosquito's. According to him they do have Malaria and Dengue Fever. So seeing as we weren't given Malaria tablets (thanks Dr Duffy you prick!), we took his herbal medicine.


In this town it's like spot the honkie. We're like celebrities, people stop and stare, bib as they go past in the car.. On the bus one woman squished on the same seat as me despite the whole bus being empty. Another woman stroked my arm and stood smiling infront of me. Slightly creepy, but the people are lovely.


It's not letting me upload pictures at the mo, the websites being a bit weird, so I'll do it soon! xxx

One day to go!

So we've got less than twenty four hours until we board the plane. I've just finished packing, Lee hasn't started. He's in the pub. Say no more.

I think I over estimated what I would need to take with me because my bag weighs an absolute tonne. The 6 inch heels, hair extensions and a full bag of make-up probably don't work in my favour, nor the big pile of clothes, but I just can't bear to leave any of it behind. Yes I know, I'm a div.

Instead of doing the practical thing and buying a Kindle (like Lee), I've decided I want to carry three big, fat, heavy books. My argument being that I like the smell of a book, turning the pages and having the satisfaction of seeing how much I've read. I don't know if having the option to smell a book will keep me going when I'm sweating my bollocks off praying I had a lighter pack. Ah well, we shall soon see.

The above is pretty much every thing that's coming with me. I've just noticed I've got five things that are leopard print, looks like I'm channelling my inner Pat Butcher there.

Argh! The nerves are starting to set in now. I occasionally catch myself thinking 'what the fuck am I doing?'...Squeaky bum!! xx