王八

We're in Fenghuang now, in Hunan Province. We arrived last night from Zhangjiajie. The mammoth 20 hour train journey to Zhangjiajie from Shanghai actually wasn't so bad after all. We've learnt that for any long train journey a sleeper is an absolute must. It didn't feel like 20 hours at all and the beds were quite comfortable so we got a half decent sleep. There are about ten or so doorless cabins to a carriage with six beds inside each, with two bottom bunks, two middle and two top. We had the two middles and we're so glad we did. Every Tom, Dick and Harry comes and sits on the bottom bunks during the day because they have enough head room to sit up properly, whereas the other bunks don't. The Chinese people don't seem to mind this, but if I were on the bottom and people came and sat down on my bed I'd be drop kickin' them off quicker than they could say chicken fried rice.

In the train station before we left, Lee went to the shop to get some drinks for us and a Chinese girl came and sat next to me waving her phone in my face. I guessed she wanted a picture. So she took about three snaps of me smiling very awkwardly, then when Lee comes back she thrusts the phone at him and he had to take a few pictures of me and her together. We always notice people taking sly photos of us, but that was the first time some one's came up to us. I didn't mind but it's still a bit bizarre!

Since we've been in China we haven't seen any big supermarkets, so when we stumbled across one the other day we got all excited and went for a wonder. It's incredible what entertains you when you're away. We think it's the dogs bollocks wondering around supermarkets comparing prices and seeing what weird shit they have. They had turtles for sale at the fish counter in this place, they were tied up in little net bags and they were alive too. I devised a plan to set them free so they could at least have a shot but Lee wouldn't let me. It made me sad, I like turtles.

We had a butchers at the noodles as that's pretty much our staple diet out here, that and street food. We were well impressed when we spotted free tubs attached to the multi packs of noodles. We were contemplating buying a tub each so even when there's no kitchen at a hostel we could still have something to eat our noodles out of. When we saw we could have free ones...Oh my. AND they were microwaveable AND they have a seal so nothing spills!! We were buzzin' off our tubs until we went to bed on the train the next day. Told you it's incredible what entertains us.

Whilst in Zhangjiajie we went to their National Park. It is apparently the place where James Cameron got the inspiration for Avatar. His crew allegedly came here and took 4,000 shots of the mountains and then based the floating mountains in Pandora on them. I don't know whether this is true or whether the Chinese authorities have renamed one of the mountains 'Hallelujah Mountain', as a money making gimmick. Either way there is no denying the similarities. The views were absolutely spectacular. We were both in awe. I've bunged a couple of photos on Facebook but they don't do it any justice what so ever. If you're ever in China I would definitely say it was worth a visit, but make sure you take the Avatar DVD and a device to play it on because you don't half crave a watch of it when you get back from the park!

The next day we went back to the park and followed a different trail which takes you along the stream. It was pretty at first but it takes about 4 hours so it got a bit samey after a while. There were quite a few wild monkeys on this trail. We would stand back and take a picture and go 'ahhh' and move on. The Chinese people badger them, poking them with things, getting right in their faces to try and get the best possible pictures. Once one person goes close, another person gets closer, then another, etc. This dynamic goes on until the monkeys feel threatened and start to squawk and brace their bodies as if they're going to attack. One monkey was so close to attacking this man but a cleaner came past with a broom and waved it at the monkey and he backed off, obviously scared of the broom. Of course, we thought it would be brilliant if we saw some one get attacked because they would absolutely deserve it. Plus, ourselves and the locals haven't exactly been the best of pals up to now. So on our way out there were tonnes of monkeys chillin' out at the entrance/exit so we decided to just sit and watch for a while as we felt like it was a matter of time. Along comes this lady with a lovely big see-through bag of crisps, biscuits, sandwiches and...bananas!! This big monkey with her baby wrapped round her belly jumps up on the woman and snatches the whole bag of goodies out of her hands. She screams and legs it leaving the bag, and all these monkeys materialize out of nowhere, easily about 30 of them, and try and grab what they can. It was hilarious, every one was screaming and running and we were just sitting on the sidelines laughing our heads off watching the drama unfold. One little monkey took a pack of biscuits and shot back up the tree. We watched him carefully open the packet, eat a few, then opened the packet fully and sprinkled down the rest of the biscuits for his pals below.

We got speaking to an English lad in our hostel who's been studying out here in an English university for the past 6 months. He was with two Chinese friends. We couldn't believe some of the stuff he was telling us. In the university they keep foreigners and locals in separate parts of the building, and the foreigners have swipe cards so they can come in and out when they pleased, but the locals get literally padlocked in their rooms at 11pm. We thought it was absolutely crazy and their response was "why do we need to leave the room after 11pm? We have a toilet, the shops are shut...". This seemed quite logical and we couldn't actually answer the question, but wowzer. Can you imagine the consequences if they tried to do that in England??!

We have also found out that people that work at international hostels have to have checks every year which basically asks them about their values. Pretty much making sure they're not becoming westernised.

We're also always kept separate from the locals. In our hostel in Shanghai there was a Russian lad who's been living there for 2 months as he's working in Shanghai and waiting to sort out proper accommodation. Anyway, he had some Chinese friends that were coming to stay in the hostel. His room had 5 empty beds, he was in there by himself, so he told them to ask for his room number so they could stay together. They asked and they were told that that room was fully booked.

Last night we were watching the England France game and the TV room backs on to a dorm. A Chinese girl pops her head out and very rudely tells us to turn it down. I explained it was on volume 1 and it couldn't go any lower, but that wasn't good enough so she stomps out her room and comes back with the man who works at the hostel. PATHETIC. anyway, the point is we had to sleep in separate dorms that night as they were fully booked, but both rooms only had men in. The woman on reception knew this wasn't right as she asked me if I'd be okay being on my own in a room full of men. When I put my head in that girls room there were at least 3 free beds in there. So they're prepared to potentially risk my safety than to let me mix with the locals. Great thanks for that. I just squished into Lees bed in his dorm as neither of us were happy with me being alone, but still. Not the point.

We've never felt hostility like it, we're made to feel so unwelcome sometimes. Having said that, the other night we went out for an explore and an aussie girl came with us. We went into a bar and we were just standing on the sidelines taking in the differences. For example the man going round making people balloon bracelets, the dice games on each of the tables, the men dancing on the podiums and tables instead of the women. Then a man and a waitress come over to us and grabbed me and took me to their table. The other two followed me over and the men just bought us beers all night. I don't like beer so I stayed sober but Lee filled his boots. It was a great night. I got up on the stage dancing then Lee and Ellie got up, then the whole bar was up, doing the conga and all sorts, it was so fun! Haven't been out sober for a long time and it was the best night I've had in ages.

At first we found China really difficult but we're getting used to it now and we've found ways around most things. Picking up the language is impossible. We've learnt four words. Couldn't do the characters like but we know how to say them. Hello (nee-how), thank you (xie-xie), turtle (wang ba) which is an insult, pretty much means son of a bitch. And the most important, Vodka (foto ja). Sorted. We can go in a shop, say hello, buy vokda, thank them, then get pissed and abuse some one. That's our Saturday nights sorted.