Yangshou

Sweating my vagina off as I type this on yet another train to Chengdu. This train also doesn't have air con but atleast the fan works. This journey is 24.5 hours. After all these trains the 4 hour coach to Liverpool will be a piece of piss.

We enjoyed Yangshou, apart from the lack of sleep. We were in an 8 bed dorm. Me and Lee shared a bunk, I was on the top one and him on the bottom. There was a Chinese lad staying on the top bunk across from me. He was only there for 2 nights but by the end of it I could have strung him up by his stupid pony tail. He came to bed around 5am each night, obviously staying up to watch the Euro's. But what he'd done is set an alarm for 2.45am on one of his phones to wake him up for the games, not that he ever went to bed beforehand anyway, he was always downstairs from 10pm onwards. He then left this phone in his locker. So 2.45am comes and we get woken up to the sound of some shit Chinese RnB song which lasted about 30 seconds. At first we just thought it was a call so we tried to go back to sleep, but it kept going off every minute for about 15 minutes. We were on the 5th floor so going down to get him wasn't an option. After a while Lee had enough and went over to the lads locker and ragged it open and gave me the phone. I couldn't get the battery off so I had to just switch it off. I saw another alarm was set for 7.20am but because everything was in Chinese I didn't know how to switch that alarm off. Needless to say we were woken up again at 7.20am. This was after him coming in at 5am waking us all up again. I leaned over and shook his bed to wake him up and he went down to turn off the alarm and went back to bed.

I was visibly angry so you'd have thought he'd turn his alarms off, but the next day the exact same thing happened. I was so angry. I shook his bed so hard and shouted at him. He shit himself he didn't know what was goin' on getting woken up by some crazy white girl swinging off his bed going nuts.

We hired a couple of mountain bikes and went for a cycle round the river. It was really nice. Haven't been on a bike in years, I was kinda scared when we set off thinking in my head that it was an absolute given that I'd return with bloody knees and no teeth. The last time I was on a bike I put my head straight through a parked car so as you can guess I'm not the most competent of cyclists. After a while I found my feet and got my confidence back and I was grand.

On our ride we saw loads of water buffalos and hens with their chicks, and we took a bamboo raft across the river with our bikes. At one point we stopped and had a dip in the river. It was so nice, but when we got out we were covered in what looked like tiny leeches and some other bugs. We stood there for about 10 minutes whacking these bugs off, they were everywhere!
The ride took about 5 hours so we treated ourselves to a fat burger and chips afterwards mmmmm...

We met a few lads there who we went on a night out with. There was an Englishman, a Dutchman and an American. Sounds like the beginning to a bad joke. They had all taught there at some point. We went to a hostel bar called Monkey Jane's as that was the only place open showing the football. It was a place especially for foreigners, so when Jane started saying she hates foreigners infront of the whole place it really pissed me off. So I shouted at her, "how are you gona say you hate foreigners when every single person in here is foreign?!! We pay your fucking wages you silly lady! Absolute idiot!". She had pissed us off before that too. Lee ordered noodles and they cost 4 and Lee gave her a 5 note then quickly realised he had the right change and swapped it and she said, "fucking rich people wasting my fucking time". WHAAAAT I didn't hear this at the time but when Lee told me I was fuming. Why would you make your business for foreigners if you clearly hate them? She was a tosser though. When people stopped paying attention to her to watch the football she went over and turned it off. She seemed like a bitter middle aged woman having a midlife crisis. You know the type.

What annoyed me the most though was that the people we were with were making excuses for her, saying "don't take offense, it's just the way they are". No. No it isn't. That was just rude to a different extent. It annoys me how everyone keeps making excuses for these people. What would it take before they say enough is enough? Argh!!!

So I'm finishing this entry in Chengdu now. Our hostel is boss but it's a bit creepy and they're playing creepy music which doesn't help. We met a Chinese girl on the train who, shock horror, was really very nice! To make sure we got to where we were going she took us to our hostel (which was two buses from the train station) and even up to our room bless her. We like Chengdu already. Can't wait to see the Panda's, woohoo!!!!

'Road to Yangshou'

Fenghuang was really quite nice. It was really old; buildings on stilts on the river side, all the guesthouses are all wooden. There were loads of old tiny, cobbled lanes like in Brighton and that was really nice for a mooch. Got lost sooo many times though. Some things there looked so traditional. More often than not we'd see a man on a tiny wooden raft fishing wearing one of those hats that looks like the lid off ya duck pancakes pot. The people were much more friendly there. It had a bit of everything really. It was lovely to walk around in the day and it seemed to have a good nightlife too.

We stayed in Fenghuang for four nights, our next scheduled stop was Yangshou, but it would seem that it is virtually impossible to get to. You have to get a 1 hour bus to Tongren, 12 hour train to Guilin, then another 2 hour bus to Yangshou. We thought fuck that for a game of soldiers, so we stopped over at each segment of the journey.

Tongren was a bit of a shit heap to be fair, but we had to get a room as our train left from there at 4.46am. We were just going to sleep rough in the station but it stunk off piss and vinegar, so we got a hotel across the road from the station. We paid over the odds (£14.80) but we had to be close by as we're not sure what the taxi situation is like after hours. Anyway, the hotel was LUSH. So lush infact that it had a plaque in the room with a picture of a girl with her tits practically out and a number underneath to dial. Oh and a pack of prophylactics with Sarah Michelle Gellar's face on some one elses body. Poor girl, bet she hasn't got a clue.

The train to Guilin wasn't as good as our other sleeper train. First of all there wasn't a ladder to get up to the top bunk were we were. There was a teeny fold away step on the inside part of the lower and middle bunks, so you couldn't even use them really without poking someone in the eye with your big toe. You had to do some Spider Man shit to get up and down, which left you sweating. That brings me to my next point: there was no air conditioning. And to add insult to injury there was a fan in each of the cabins, but ours didn't work. I was hotter than the sun. Oh and the beds hadn't been changed from each person to the next. When we got on I thought a section of my pillow felt wet. I sniffed it and it smelt like sweaty, greasy barnet, ew!

We've been stopped for photo's countless times now. Really don't get it. I know they're very blocked off from the rest of the world and on TV and on billboards it's only Chinese people, but they see honkies in films and stuff so why the fascination? One lad the other day, must have been about 18, 19, after he took the photo he walked away and actually shouted out "YES!!!", (well the Chinese equivalent), and punched the air. Really though???! We don't mind at all but we just can't fathom it.

We're in Guilin at the mo, leaving tomorrow for the bus to Yangshou. Oh that rhymes. It's okay here but not much to do really. It's got hotter as we doth venture south. Yesterday we just walked into a big hotel, asked at reception where the pool was and spent the day there. We tried the same again today but we got caught. They wanted to charge us 8 squid each just to use the pool!! Erm jog!.. So we walked about a half hour to the next hotel instead and they only charged us £3 and we got towels too. Good times.

Arr I am going to miss the kitten at this hostel, he's sooo cute. He's the smallest kitten I've ever seen. I've named him Barry. Don't know what his proper name is but I think he'd prefer Barry given the choice. Shit, think I've burnt me face again. Will I ever learn?

王八

We're in Fenghuang now, in Hunan Province. We arrived last night from Zhangjiajie. The mammoth 20 hour train journey to Zhangjiajie from Shanghai actually wasn't so bad after all. We've learnt that for any long train journey a sleeper is an absolute must. It didn't feel like 20 hours at all and the beds were quite comfortable so we got a half decent sleep. There are about ten or so doorless cabins to a carriage with six beds inside each, with two bottom bunks, two middle and two top. We had the two middles and we're so glad we did. Every Tom, Dick and Harry comes and sits on the bottom bunks during the day because they have enough head room to sit up properly, whereas the other bunks don't. The Chinese people don't seem to mind this, but if I were on the bottom and people came and sat down on my bed I'd be drop kickin' them off quicker than they could say chicken fried rice.

In the train station before we left, Lee went to the shop to get some drinks for us and a Chinese girl came and sat next to me waving her phone in my face. I guessed she wanted a picture. So she took about three snaps of me smiling very awkwardly, then when Lee comes back she thrusts the phone at him and he had to take a few pictures of me and her together. We always notice people taking sly photos of us, but that was the first time some one's came up to us. I didn't mind but it's still a bit bizarre!

Since we've been in China we haven't seen any big supermarkets, so when we stumbled across one the other day we got all excited and went for a wonder. It's incredible what entertains you when you're away. We think it's the dogs bollocks wondering around supermarkets comparing prices and seeing what weird shit they have. They had turtles for sale at the fish counter in this place, they were tied up in little net bags and they were alive too. I devised a plan to set them free so they could at least have a shot but Lee wouldn't let me. It made me sad, I like turtles.

We had a butchers at the noodles as that's pretty much our staple diet out here, that and street food. We were well impressed when we spotted free tubs attached to the multi packs of noodles. We were contemplating buying a tub each so even when there's no kitchen at a hostel we could still have something to eat our noodles out of. When we saw we could have free ones...Oh my. AND they were microwaveable AND they have a seal so nothing spills!! We were buzzin' off our tubs until we went to bed on the train the next day. Told you it's incredible what entertains us.

Whilst in Zhangjiajie we went to their National Park. It is apparently the place where James Cameron got the inspiration for Avatar. His crew allegedly came here and took 4,000 shots of the mountains and then based the floating mountains in Pandora on them. I don't know whether this is true or whether the Chinese authorities have renamed one of the mountains 'Hallelujah Mountain', as a money making gimmick. Either way there is no denying the similarities. The views were absolutely spectacular. We were both in awe. I've bunged a couple of photos on Facebook but they don't do it any justice what so ever. If you're ever in China I would definitely say it was worth a visit, but make sure you take the Avatar DVD and a device to play it on because you don't half crave a watch of it when you get back from the park!

The next day we went back to the park and followed a different trail which takes you along the stream. It was pretty at first but it takes about 4 hours so it got a bit samey after a while. There were quite a few wild monkeys on this trail. We would stand back and take a picture and go 'ahhh' and move on. The Chinese people badger them, poking them with things, getting right in their faces to try and get the best possible pictures. Once one person goes close, another person gets closer, then another, etc. This dynamic goes on until the monkeys feel threatened and start to squawk and brace their bodies as if they're going to attack. One monkey was so close to attacking this man but a cleaner came past with a broom and waved it at the monkey and he backed off, obviously scared of the broom. Of course, we thought it would be brilliant if we saw some one get attacked because they would absolutely deserve it. Plus, ourselves and the locals haven't exactly been the best of pals up to now. So on our way out there were tonnes of monkeys chillin' out at the entrance/exit so we decided to just sit and watch for a while as we felt like it was a matter of time. Along comes this lady with a lovely big see-through bag of crisps, biscuits, sandwiches and...bananas!! This big monkey with her baby wrapped round her belly jumps up on the woman and snatches the whole bag of goodies out of her hands. She screams and legs it leaving the bag, and all these monkeys materialize out of nowhere, easily about 30 of them, and try and grab what they can. It was hilarious, every one was screaming and running and we were just sitting on the sidelines laughing our heads off watching the drama unfold. One little monkey took a pack of biscuits and shot back up the tree. We watched him carefully open the packet, eat a few, then opened the packet fully and sprinkled down the rest of the biscuits for his pals below.

We got speaking to an English lad in our hostel who's been studying out here in an English university for the past 6 months. He was with two Chinese friends. We couldn't believe some of the stuff he was telling us. In the university they keep foreigners and locals in separate parts of the building, and the foreigners have swipe cards so they can come in and out when they pleased, but the locals get literally padlocked in their rooms at 11pm. We thought it was absolutely crazy and their response was "why do we need to leave the room after 11pm? We have a toilet, the shops are shut...". This seemed quite logical and we couldn't actually answer the question, but wowzer. Can you imagine the consequences if they tried to do that in England??!

We have also found out that people that work at international hostels have to have checks every year which basically asks them about their values. Pretty much making sure they're not becoming westernised.

We're also always kept separate from the locals. In our hostel in Shanghai there was a Russian lad who's been living there for 2 months as he's working in Shanghai and waiting to sort out proper accommodation. Anyway, he had some Chinese friends that were coming to stay in the hostel. His room had 5 empty beds, he was in there by himself, so he told them to ask for his room number so they could stay together. They asked and they were told that that room was fully booked.

Last night we were watching the England France game and the TV room backs on to a dorm. A Chinese girl pops her head out and very rudely tells us to turn it down. I explained it was on volume 1 and it couldn't go any lower, but that wasn't good enough so she stomps out her room and comes back with the man who works at the hostel. PATHETIC. anyway, the point is we had to sleep in separate dorms that night as they were fully booked, but both rooms only had men in. The woman on reception knew this wasn't right as she asked me if I'd be okay being on my own in a room full of men. When I put my head in that girls room there were at least 3 free beds in there. So they're prepared to potentially risk my safety than to let me mix with the locals. Great thanks for that. I just squished into Lees bed in his dorm as neither of us were happy with me being alone, but still. Not the point.

We've never felt hostility like it, we're made to feel so unwelcome sometimes. Having said that, the other night we went out for an explore and an aussie girl came with us. We went into a bar and we were just standing on the sidelines taking in the differences. For example the man going round making people balloon bracelets, the dice games on each of the tables, the men dancing on the podiums and tables instead of the women. Then a man and a waitress come over to us and grabbed me and took me to their table. The other two followed me over and the men just bought us beers all night. I don't like beer so I stayed sober but Lee filled his boots. It was a great night. I got up on the stage dancing then Lee and Ellie got up, then the whole bar was up, doing the conga and all sorts, it was so fun! Haven't been out sober for a long time and it was the best night I've had in ages.

At first we found China really difficult but we're getting used to it now and we've found ways around most things. Picking up the language is impossible. We've learnt four words. Couldn't do the characters like but we know how to say them. Hello (nee-how), thank you (xie-xie), turtle (wang ba) which is an insult, pretty much means son of a bitch. And the most important, Vodka (foto ja). Sorted. We can go in a shop, say hello, buy vokda, thank them, then get pissed and abuse some one. That's our Saturday nights sorted.

Shanghai

We've been in Shanghai for 3 nights now, tonight is our fourth (well, not sure when it is 'cause I have to email this to me Mum to paste as kel surprise Blogspot is blocked in China too). We have enjoyed Shanghai. Not really much to do here apart from wonder about, but there's alot of lovely places to wonder about in.

We're staying on East Nanjing Road which is very central. It's in Peoples Square which is a massive high street at this end, then further down the road is a huge park called Peoples Park which is very nice. We passed through there the other day and there was a group of kids with their speakers out, Shufflin'. We were waiting for them to do something good but that was the only dance they could do. I was tempted to go and show 'em how it's done but I refrained. Thought I'd spare Lee the embarrassment.

We planned to soak up some culture whilst we were here as there's quite a few museums about the history of Shanghai etc etc.. We did try to go to one the other day, but we got a bit lost and stumbled upon the Insect Kingdom! Much more fun! There was loads of crazy shit in there, all different kinds of creepy crawlies we'd never seen or heard of. What we didn't like were the tags at the bottom of each cage; Thailand, Malaysia, Thailand, Malaysia, Malaysia, Thailand... Can't wait to encounter these bad boys, or not. The Stick Insects were our favourite, we were looking at the cage for ages before we spotted them, then when we did they were frickin' everywhere, they really do look like twigs! Doesn't take much to amuse me.

There's a place here that reminds us of Brighton. It's called the French Concession, and it's an area that has little lanes with boutiques, coffee shops, restaurants and bars. That was cool for a stroll. There was so many of what we call "shit shops", basically a shop that sells loads of different shit that is not useful to anyone, but everyone loves a mooch around and usually ends up buying some useless shit that just clogs up your house. Anyway, we love them, and the ones here are filled with really small cute stuff :-)

Earlier on we went and had a look at the national football stadium and Shanghai Shenhua's stadium to see where Anelka plays, then we came back and went for a walk around The Bund which is also a 2 min walk from our hostel. This is a walk way that takes you past the river were you can see all the buildings lit up, it was really pretty.

Haha the other night we were wondering around one of the many shopping centres and we were chatting away and I stumbled. I looked down and there was black and yellow tape covering one of those cases that covers wires, it was quite a biggun though. Lee was laughing because he said he noticed it right away and stepped over it, but 3 different people crossed it at the same time as us and they all tripped too. We got the idea to go to the floor above and stand and watch to see how many people tripped. It was hilarious, so many people fell over it. We made a video which I've just watched again now and I've got snot everywhere were I was trying to hold my laugh in so I didn't wake up the rest of the dorm. Definitely Youtube material.

This is our first experience of dorms. It's okay I suppose, it's annoying having to be dressed all the time, it wastes clothes too! Plus you have to bloody whisper all the time and you feel guilty if you get in late. It's okay though. I bet we'd meet more people this way too, the people that have been here have been mostly weird.

Despite my last post we have a lovely 20 hour train ride ahead of us tomorrow! We have a bed this time though. We're going to Zhangjiajie (don't quote me on the spelling there). James Cameron got the inspiration for Avatar from there. Remember the floating mountains in the film? They are in Zhangjiajie, except they are attached to the ground obviously. Can't wait. Oh and we have no internet in the hostel we're going to, so don't worry again if you don't hear from us, we're fine and dandy.